Was it just me, or were the Oscars like the longest episode of "American Idol" ever? First, Ryan Seacrest interviewed all the contestants—oops, make that nominees—on the red carpet. Then, the stage was suspiciously similar to the circular "Idol" platform, and the live show began with a musical number from host Hugh Jackman. The first winner was announced by a panel, though unfortunately Paula Abdul wasn't on it. And at some point in the evening, Jackman appeared with Beyonce, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens to cover a strange assortment of Broadway tunes.

That latter number was awfully schizophrenic, and it only made sense when we learned that it was directed by the king of excess himself, Baz Luhrmann. The flashy, uneven choreography summed up the entire evening. This year was the Academy's biggest push to make the Oscars young and more relevant. Too bad they failed, even worse than when they tapped Jon Stewart as host. Throughout the telecast, my BlackBerry buzzed with messages from friends, all in their 20s, about how un-hip and un-young and unwatchable the Oscars felt.

It's not the Academy's fault the show was so predictable—nothing could stop "Slumdog Millionaire"'s unstoppable march to victory. At the same time, what the heck was going on onstage? It felt as though MTV executives tried to hatch a new Oscars, with two strange parents: the old Oscars and the Tonys. Needless to say, the result was a weird-looking baby.

Without further ado, let's get rid of the envelopes, please. Here are the eight strangest moments of the strangest Oscars of all time.

Photo, Hector Mata/AFP-Getty Images. 

Am I alone in finding the annual self-indulgent, self-congratulatory spectacle that is the Academy Awards simultaneously repellent and unmissable? When I settle into my wingback chair with a snifter of brandy at around the crack of dawn on Oscar Sunday for the red carpet pre-pre-pre-pre-show, watching F-list Hollywood Pretty People foam at the mouth as they express inhuman delight about dress styles I couldn't tell apart with a pattern book, am I the only one measuring the length of my nose as I look down it upon the idiots who might find this kind of programming edifying?

Can we agree that it takes true, steely-eyed grit to endure Cuba Gooding Jr. leaping about like a hyperactive child after six bowls of Cocoa Puffs or Antonio Banderas practically spraying the audience with emotion while crooning a song from "The Motorcycle Diaries"?

Photos, courtesy of Sony Classics (left); Paramount Vantage

Each year, scattered among the Jack Nicholsons, Meryl Streeps and Sean Penns on the list of Academy Award nominees are a few lesser-known actors, names that make the average moviegoer sit up in befuddlement and ask "Who?" This time around, joining superstars such as Heath Ledger and Angelina Jolie in the running for Oscar statuettes are Michael Shannon (who has had roles in "8 Mile," "Vanilla Sky" and "Pearl Harbor") and indie standby Melissa Leo (whom you might recognize from TV series "Homicide: Life on the Street," bit parts in "21 Grams" and "Mr. Woodcock," and a host of independent films). NEWSWEEK's Nicki Gostin sat down with each of the formerly unknown actors to find out whether they think they'll win, how the nominations have helped their careers and what they're doing to prepare for the big night.

[CLICK MORE>> TO READ FULL INTERVIEW] 

Actually, it's more like two.
 
The supporting-actress race is shaping up to be a smackdown between Penelope Cruz (the frontrunner from last summer for "Vicky Cristina Barcelona") and Viola Davis (for "Doubt"). Cruz has the Weinstein company in its corner, as well as a previous Oscar nod for "Volver" and the whole gorgeous-beauty-in-a-Woody-Allen-movie factor. Davis is in a movie that seems to be more adored by the Academy (four acting nominations!). Plus, she holds her own against Meryl Streep. But, eh, she's only in the movie for one really long scene. Miramax is trying to hush those doubts -- no doubt! -- by posting a seven-minute clip that showcases almost all of Davis's performance.  Watch it here.

Oh no, Penelope! How are you going to fight back?
 
For the sake of equal airtime, we'll post the 44 second scene where you kiss Scarlett Johansson:

Read the below-reproduced statement from the AMPAS, announcing that the full four producers of "The Reader" -- rather than the customary three -- will be listed as the nominees in the Best Picture category.  Two of those producers -- Anthony Minghella and Sydney Pollack -- died during the post-production.  This is the second time in a week that "The Reader" is associated with upending Academy precedent; when Kate Winslet nabbed a surprise Best Actress nomination for her role in the film, beating out herself in "Revolutionary Road," it marked the first time that a Golden Globe winner's performance in the Drama category wasn't even nominated for the Oscar.  And here's the Academy:

Because four producers were listed on the credits form submitted for Oscar® consideration and Academy rules allow for only three producers – except in “a rare and extraordinary circumstance” – to be nominated and potentially receive Oscar statuettes, a meeting of the executive committee was necessary. In the end, the committee determined that the circumstances of “The Reader” – in which the two original producers (Minghella and Pollack) both died partway through the process – met its definition of “rare and extraordinary” and that all four submitted individuals should be named as nominees.

For a bit about each departed director-turned-producer, read (1.) Frank Gehry's essay from our Periscope section, about Gehry's old friend Sydney and the Renoir-like quality of "The Interpreter;" or (2.) David Ansen's remembrance of Minghella's "rare sensitivity," conveyed in films like "The English Patient," "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Cold Mountain."  Pollack was 73; Minghella was 54.

Here's the president of the Academy Sid Ganis, and Forrest Whitaker:

(1) Amy Adams get in for best supporting actress over Kate Winslet for "The Reader." So much for Winslet's chances of winning two Oscars in the same year.

(2) No Dev Patel in "Slumdog Millionaire." Does that mean he could land in lead? (No.) When was the last time a movie won best picture with no acting nominations? Was it "Crash"? Michael Shannon gets in instead for "Revolutionary Road"

(3) Best actress, the big whoa category. They snub Kate Winslet for ... Kate Winslet. She gets in for "The Reader," not "Revolutionary Road," which she had been campaigning herself for. The other big surprise is that they nominate both Angelina Jolie for "The Changeling" and Melissa Leo for "Frozen River," but no Sally Hawkins for "Happy-Go-Lucky."

(4) Best actor, and it's Richard Jenkins for "The Visitor" over Clint Eastwood for "Gran Torino." Clint's love affair with the Academy is over. Brad Pitt is in! He and Angie are now an Oscars couple.

(5) And best picture ... has a big shock. "No Dark Knight." But "The Reader" gets in. I can live with that. "The Reader" is the better film, but I bet the Batman fans are bummed.

<3s 

 

Photo courtesy AMPAS.

 

Best Picture

About three months ago, a funny thing happened. No one had any idea what would be nominated for best picture--in fact, most of the best picture nominees hadn't even been released or screened for the critics. So it's somewhat of a letdown that this category is so anticlimactic. The directors and producers guilds lined up perfectly, and the Academy will likely do the same and nominate "Slumdog Millionaire," "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," "Milk," "Frost/Nixon" and "The Dark Knight."

Batman is the most vulnerable, since it's a comic book movie, was released over the summer and--can I be honest here?--is at times incoherent, especially in that last big action scene. But I can't think of a single movie that could displace it. "Revolutionary Road" and "Doubt" fizzled with the critics. "The Wrestler" and "Rachel Getting Married" never gained the momentum they deserved. "Gran Torino" opened too late--it clobbered the box office the weekend ballots were due. I wish "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" had a shot. Or "The Reader," the most overlooked movie of the year. But alas, they don't.

And the nominees will be:

• "Slumdog Millionaire"
• "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
• "Milk"
• "Frost/Nixon"
• "The Dark Knight"

• Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire"
• David Fincher, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
• Gus van Sant, "Milk"
• Ron Howard, "Frost/Nixon"
• Christopher Nolan, "The Dark Knight"

• Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler"
• Sean Penn, "Milk"
• Frank Langella, "Frost Nixon"
• Clint Eastwood, "Gran Torino"
• Brad Pitt, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

• Kate Winslet, "Revolutionary Road"
• Anne Hathaway, "Rachel Getting Married"
• Meryl Streep, "Doubt"
• Sally Hawkins, "Happy-Go-Lucky"
• Kristin Scott Thomas, "I've Loved You so Long"

• Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"
• Josh Brolin, "Milk"
• Dev Patel, "Slumdog Millionaire"
• Robert Downey, Jr., "Tropic Thunder"
• Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Doubt"

• Penelope Cruz, "Vicki Cristina Barcelona"
• Viola Davis, "Doubt"
• Kate Winslet, "The Reader"
• Marisa Tomei, "The Wrestler"
• Taraji P. Henson, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"