This place is overwhelming. You've heard the stats, but they bear repeating: 2700+ exhibitors, 1.8 million square feet of floor space, 140,000 attendees, one too many Germans. I've been ambling around for the past couple of hours and I've only seen the bulk of one hall (there are three at the Convention Center alone, not counting the various other CES-related displays and events scattered throughout town). I'm not complaining, really, it's all very shiny and flashy. But you have to feel sorry for the exhibitors—how do you stand out in an environment like this? I saw a photo-editing display set up next to a high-tech sewing machine display. CES: daring to take Bedazzled into the 21st century! Too much ... technology ... having ... seizures. People are trying really hard to differentiate themselves. There are lots and lots of scantily clad and heavily made-up ladies—tech tarts!—who leap out at you and want to know "Are you sick of listening to your voicemail?!" (Not if it's from you, hotpants --Ed.). It all smacks of desperation a little.

By far the best thing I've seen so far was a display that involved a performance by a hip hop trio that called itself The Hip Hop Opera. At first I was skeptical (I was, after all, on my way to track down Chuck D, a true godfather, whose appearance here may be evidence that he is no longer fighting the power. I would later learn he is in the South Hall ... of a different hotel.) The Hip Hop Opera is fronted by a guy who goes by Supernatural and who claims to hold the world record for longest free style rap. A quick search on the Internets bears this out.  First he introduces his beat box buddy who does a dazzling display of expectorational pyrotechnics, replete with Grandmaster Flash and Afrika Bambaataa quotes. It would have made Dough E. Fresh proud. It would have brought tears to Rahzel's eyes. Then Supernatural himself grabbed the mic, encouraging the ever-ballooning audience to pull anything they had had out of their pockets. Dude masterfully incorporated everything into his rhymes for a good 20 minutes: Bluetooth, aluminum trinkets, mirror, keys, a crochet needle. Here he is in action (pardon my Blackberry photo-taking non-abilities):

It's a cliche reportorial trick, but a tested one: When you get to a new city, chat up your friendly cab driver. You always learn a little dirt, get a little flavor. (A fellow reporter once told me the same holds true for strippers -- of course, I wouldn't know. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe me?) I've been to Vegas four or five times in the past (this is my first time here for work) and I always learn something new from the cab drivers. Like for example: they absolutely hate CES. Can you blame them? Some 140,000 technophiles flood the city, don't really gamble or drink to excess and leave, I am told, lousy tips. Now they have one more reason to be grumpy: competition. This year they're putting hundreds of additional cabs on the streets during CES (and that other convention). They're also having drivers work shifts of up to 12 hours, which doesn't seem entirely safe. I haven't been able to hammer down a specific number, but one cab driver told me there would be 800 additional taxis; another cabbie told me 500. These guys would make lousy fact checkers. Still, I was curious enough to Google around a bit and found the Las Vegas taxi driver blog, which has this fairly hilarious post about the CES demanding that the taxicab authority put 300 more cars into circulation. Key quote:

"CES is basically a show where juvenile geek’s from all the Globalist hot spots gather in Las Vegas to look at the latest gizmos nobody needs but are convinced they cannot live without.

Don’t expect any earth changing technology to flow from this latest GeekFest. Back in the late 1990’s when the Global Elite figured out the Internet truly could threaten their grip on World Dominance, they have worked mightily to insure the bandwidth never showed up which could have truly diversified Power to all Peoples of the World."

OK, a little batty. Still. Whether there are 300, 500 or 800 more cabs on the road this week is immaterial. It all boils down to one thing for my taxi-driving friends in this fairly astute and poetic conclusion:
 
"So in a nutshell CES and the Taxi Business are similar. Too many apps--too many cabs, and far too few roads and access points to make proper use of."