Well that about wraps it up for me, your deflowered CES correspondent. I have a flight to catch in a couple hours, which is about how long the cab lines are around here. It's been complete gadget madness. Tech overload. It's hard to say that I have any favorites--I've looked at everything from refrigerators to televisions to robots to porn--and I'm still trying to process it all. I'll let the pros prognosticate on what the hits and the duds will be. But I have heard grumblings among my fellow reporters (and even exhibitors): There was no big story this year. No home run. No major hit. CES is just too big, they complain. Exhibitors are frustrated because it's hard to stand out in this crowd. Unless you've got a freakshow of a gadget (150-inch screen, anyone?), there's no way you're going to gin up any major buzz. I don't have anything to compare this year's show to since it is my first time, but there does seem to be this undercurrent of disappointment. People are vaguely underwhelmed--and exhausted.

Maybe they're jaded, but I certainly saw some pretty neat stuff here. Some people who come to CES year in and year out may have lost the view of the forest for all those high-tech trees. Just as you don't see yourself age when you look in the mirror every day, you tend to forget that technological evolution is grinding ever onward: geek guru Robert Scoble mentioned offhand that he remembers when he couldn't even make a cell phone call from the floor--and now folks are streaming high definition video. That sounds like a pretty great story to me.

And now I've got a plane to board. I can't wait to settle in and spend some quality time with one of the lowest-tech items on earth: a book.

What is it?

The Central Park Refrigerator.

How much will it cost me?

1,999, not including accessories.

Who makes it?

Whirlpool

Why should I care?

Because this fridge stores much more than food.

How would you describe it?

The stainless steel fridge comes equipped with an accessory port hidden on top of the freezer door. Whirlpool has teamed with partners to make gizmos that slide stylishly onto the face of the fridge. On display at CES was a digital picture frame ($249), an iPod dock, a back-lit white board that doesn't stain, and a fully-functioning tablet PC (pricing not yet available on these items). Each accessory is about the size of an atlas and is powered by the fridge.

The Clio Vu, the touchscreen 512 MG tablet PC made by Data Evolution, is super cool -- it pops out of its docking station and folds open to reveal a keyboard. It syncs with Outlook and connects wireless to the Web so it can stream videos and access e-mails. Perfect for storing recipes, grocery lists and your calendar. The Ceiva snap-on picture frame is great because magnets don't work on stainless steel fridges and ... well, when was the last time you printed out a photo anyway? Now you can slide a memory stick into the frame and treat yourself to a slide show of your latest pictures. Better yet: post a photo of yourself in your fat pants to dissuade you from that midnight snack.

When can I get my hands on it?

Now.

What's your verdict?

Very, very cool. But at two grand per fridge, not counting the cost of accessories, it might make sense wait until the technology is refined--and proves that it's here to stay.

Today in breaking Vegas news: the Adult Entertainment Expo has kicked off in earnest, if you can use that word to describe anything the adult industry does. The porn show and the gadget show usually occur concurrently, planets in parallel orbit, peeking at each other from a safe distance. The vast majority of CES's show space is at the Las Vegas Convention Center. But there is a fairly large number of exhibitors located a quick bus ride across town at the Sands Hotel. As it happens, the Adult Expo is also being held at the Sands hotel this year--and by a delicious twist of fate, about 100 yards away from the "Sandbox Summit" for child-friendly technology. Ah, Vegas, you saucy minx of a party hostess you.

In the interest of, uh, hard news, I finagled myself an Adult Expo press pass and sauntered around the exhibition space (and boy howdy, do these people ever live up to their status as official "exhibitors"). Now this is a family CES blog, so I am going to really try to keep things relevant here. As I sauntered around the floor, failing utterly to not look completely awkward, I saw just as many flat screen TVs on display as there are scattered about CES. And, weirdly, I kept noticing signs for HD-DVD. Two thoughts instantly occurred to me:

1. I wonder if Warner Bros.'s recent decision to go with Blu-ray is going to have ripples through the porn world. And ...
2. High-definition porn? Eeeew.

A year ago, some media folks were inclined to think that porn was going to be the deciding factor in the high-def format wars. This, of course, assumed the industry was as big--and therefore as influential--as it claims to be, which it probably isn't.  (When VHS beat Betamax as the dominant home video tape format, one theory was that Betamax lost because porn cast the deciding vote for VHS--also probably not true.)

Now that Warner Bros. has chosen sides in the latest format war, it seems likely that Blu-ray will emerge the dominant technology. But here in the Hustler booth is a big HD-DVD sign. I asked Drew Rosenfeld, Hustler Video Group's creative director, if he now regretted having apparently cast his lot with HD. "At this point, we're thinking of shifting gears and going completely Blu-ray," he says. The industry has been reluctant to fully embrace Blu-ray, he says, because it's more difficult and expensive to replicate (that is, to put the content onto disc). Hustler has so far released one DVD on the format, he says, and they've had to have the discs replicated in Taiwan--a hotbed of piracy, which is a massive scourge on the industry. He anticipates releasing "a full range of Blu-ray products" by mid-year.

Bruce Whitney at Adam & Eve Pictures says his company has been slow to jump into the high definition market precisely because there wasn't yet a single dominant format. "We've been unsure how the high-definition market is going to work out," he says. The company, which also had a few HD-DVD logos up in its booth, has released four titles on HD-DVD and none on Blu-ray (the first Blu-ray release won't come before May, says Whitney).

In this way, Adam & Eve is part of a broader industry trend, says Justin Bourne, an associate editor at Adult Video News, the trade publication that sponsors the Expo. "I think, just to be safe, the industry is going both ways," he says with no trace of irony. "[Warner Bros.] will have an effect, but I don't think it's going to happen for a while."

The old aphorism is that porn peddlers are the earliest of high tech adopters (also seen at the Expo: a vibrator that plugs into your iPod and buzzes in rhythm). But this time around the adult industry needs to take the same wait-and-see approach the rest of us do. Fortunately for them they know a thing or two about staying power.

Like the Chevy Volt, the Provoq would run on GM's new "E-Flex" architecture. It won't be ready for several years, but the Provoq, with its fuel cell stacks and lithium ion battery pack, is certainly an exciting prospect as fuel prices hover at the $100-per-barrel mark. It could also be the first zero-emission luxury car, running up to about 100 mph and emitting only water vapor. And yet. What Wagoner neglected to mention is that hydrogen fuel is made by reforming natural gas, a process which releases CO². Not so efficient ... or, for that matter, green.

Yesterday, the first official day of CES, kicked off with a bunch of announcements from Panasonic President Toshihiro Sakamoto. Chief among them is the 150-inch plasma--which the company is calling the "Life Screen," probably because that sounds better than the "Life Savings Screen"--the largest plasma screen in the world. Although there was no official word from Panasonic, analysts have predicted the TV could go for as much as $100,000. For those of you keeping score at home (and actually know what this stuff means), the TV has 2,000-by-4,000 pixel resolution. It is 11 feet wide. Which is the size of nine 50-inch plasma TVs.
 
I finally got a look at it today. Here you go:

I included the guy standing in front of the TV in order to give you some perspective as to how freakishly large this thing is. He's 15 feet tall. That cocked thumb alone is the size of a VW Beetle. And yet he is dwarfed--dwarfed!--by the Monster TV. If, for some reason, the screen were to topple over it would kill everyone in Las Vegas. Let us pray that it does not.  

As I mentioned in passing before, the only TV I own is a 30 year-old cathode ray dinosaur that runs on diesel fuel. It's sitting on the floor in my house, not even plugged in. I can't lift it up to put it on our coffee table. Years of not watching TV, I've concluded, have made me a better person than you. And yet. Looking at this plasma leviathan, I have only one thought: Daddy want.

Seagate's D.A.V.E., pictured on the right

What is it?

D.A.V.E. (Digital Audio Video Experience) Platform 

How much will it cost me?

To be announced, but the rumor mill claims under $200.

Who makes it?

Seagate.

Why should I care?

It's a portable hard drive that connects wirelessly to a slew of devices--perfect for those memory-starved iPhones.

How would you describe it?

When I first saw D.A.V.E. at hard drive manufacturer Seagate's fall press tour in New York City, they didn't have a working model to show me. Now they do, and it's one of the subtly coolest things we've seen at CES 2008. It's a 60 gigabyte hard drive with built-in Bluetooth 2.0 and Wi-Fi, a Web server, and DLNA (Digital Living Network Alliance) support. What that means in plain English is that you can store a vast amount of content on the drive--data, photos, music, movies--then easily access it on your mobile phone, iPhone, PDA, laptop, TV or Playstation 3 that supports Bluetooth or Wi-Fi. The demo I saw showed D.A.V.E. working in conjunction with both an iPod Touch (pictured above) and a car stereo, and it was sweet to be able to play a movie or listen to a song stored on a separate device without needing a wire (though if necessary, there is a mini-USB connector). Even better, multiple devices can access different files--or the same file--simultaneously.

What's confusing me is that Seagate currently has no plans to offer D.A.V.E. directly to consumers, even through its own Web site. Instead, it will be teaming up with companies like Harman/Becker for car stereo systems; PortoMedia for selling digital movies, TV and music at kiosks; and Sanyo for use with its camcorders. I can't for the life of me believe that retailers would turn away this product or that it couldn't at least sell D.A.V.E. directly through its site, because all it would take is a couple of video clips of this gadget in action and geeks would be lining up to score one--especially iPhone users. Nevertheless, Seagate execs are sticking to their guns on this strategy, but I hope they'll change their minds.

When can I get my hands on it?

Last quarter of 2008.

What's your verdict?

Buy...if only Seagate would sell it to you directly.

If you had three wishes, what would they be?: 1. Good health for myself and my family. 2. The resources to continue to travel for the rest of my life. 3. A husband and 1-2 kids.

Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.: Entertaining. Nothing makes me happier than filling my house with friends, good food, and good drinks. I would want a partner that enjoyed the same.

Times approximate

7:00 A.M.: Send report of last night’s Bill Gates keynote to editors.

7:50: Walk out of hotel, get in endless cab line. One cab pulls up five minutes later, two people get in. Valet asks if anyone wants to go to the Convention Center and share the cab. People on line, mostly Japanese convention-goers, are frozen. New York City instincts kicking in, I leap forward.  

8:15: Arrive at Convention Center for Sony Pictures Television breakfast. Look at Sony booth while coffee is being set up. Admire the new super-bright OLED TV’s, which, with 11-inch screen and fingernail-thin width, are like cufflinks compared to 150 inches of high-def screen elsewhere on the floor.  

8:30: Talk to executive for a very big company that’s on top of the world who used to work for a very big company whose good fortunes have turned rotten. Hear devastating stories about the former company and interesting insights on his current employer. It will probably be the best conversation of the week.

9:30:  Sony Presentation for Sony Pictures Television opens with introduction by Vanna White, then has Alex Trebek (looking good after heart attack) chatting with Steve Mosko, head of the division.  He introduces a digital service with content in 4-minute bursts, cut out of full-size dramas and Seinfeld episodes. Jerry Seinfeld appears, does 15 minutes of jokes about toiles and commercials--but very funny. Tony Bennett comes out and sings a song.  

10:30: Struggle with iPhone to get it to resend file I sent in early morning, which didn’t go through.

11:00:  Go to “Industry Insider” speech by Chief Yahoo Jerry Yang.  Before he takes the stage there are slides of “fun facts” about Yahoo, all of which have to do with its huge user base, like telling how many times Yahoo users would circle the earth if they were arranged around the equator (three).  He shows new mobile software.

Noon: Go to Microsoft press building (a separate structure outside the hall) to interview Chief Technical Officer Craig Mundie supposedly over lunch. There are boxed lunches in a waiting area, but I don’t take one, figuring we’ll have food inside. There isn’t. PR person asks if he could tape the interview. I say OK, and take out my own recorder. Brief discussion on how great digital tape recorders are.  

12:03 P.M.: My tape recorder stops. Screen says “low battery.”

12:05:  Microsoft PR guy has extra batteries, so interview resumes. Discussion of spectrum auction, Microsoft’s impact on consumer electronics, Bill Gates’ departure, and personality of One Laptop Per Child leader Nicholas Negroponte.

1:00:  Food outside the interview rooms is gone. I go to press room where there is a long line for the lunches provided reporters. Someone calls out, “There’s only rice and beans.” Go into a room full of computers to do email.

1:10:   Internet goes down in press room.

1:20:  Walk around some of the 1.7 square feet of exhibition space. Lots of noise and big TVs.

2:00:  Take Las Vegas Monorail back to hotel and eat lunch in a facsimile of a Paris bistro under a fake twilight sky.

3:00:  Internet in hotel room.

3:20:  Get email from a Microsoft PR person. I left my tape recorder on the table there.

4:00:  Walk to Venetian Hotel for meeting and press conference. Sidewalks lined with people passing out cards for “Girls Direct to your Room in 20 minutes.”  

4:30:  Interview Ron Sanders, head of Warner Brothers Home Video, the guy who just stuck a dagger in the heart of the HD-DVD hi-def format fight by announcing that his company--the biggest studio in home video--would support Blu-Ray exclusively.  (Previously Warners was the only studio supporting both formats.) He says he was just following the consumer, who is buying Blu-Ray two-to-one.

5:00: Press conference of Blu-Ray consortium, with Sanders and reps from other studios promoting the format,  is an hour-long gloat-fest. Old message: We’re better than HD-DVD. New message: Now that format war is over, we must “educate” consumers to buy new players and the more expensive disks.

6:00:  Almost get killed crossing the street to the Wynn.  Attend ShowStoppers, a show-within-a-show with more than 100 companies presenting new stuff. See an air-guitar variation on Guitar Hero, test a Wi-Fi picture frame, taste beer made from BeerTender, a Krups product that taps a keg of Heineken. Interviewed twice by different people on Podcast Network. Run out of business cards.

8:45:  Decision time--there are two parties at the Palms (Intel and Digital Freedom party sponsored by Consumer Electronics Association), and a Sony party at some hotel I’m staying at. Ponder this while waiting in cab line with a friend who’s going to the Palms.

9:30:  Get to head of cab line. Decide to go back to hotel.

10:15:  Sony “After Hours” party is happily low key, with three-piece acoustic band playing classic rock covers. Talk to a few people--“See anything new?”  “Not really”--and get a brew from a bartender, not a BeerTender. Someone asks the band to play “Free Bird.”

11:15:  Back to room. Email. Sleep.

This place is overwhelming. You've heard the stats, but they bear repeating: 2700+ exhibitors, 1.8 million square feet of floor space, 140,000 attendees, one too many Germans. I've been ambling around for the past couple of hours and I've only seen the bulk of one hall (there are three at the Convention Center alone, not counting the various other CES-related displays and events scattered throughout town). I'm not complaining, really, it's all very shiny and flashy. But you have to feel sorry for the exhibitors—how do you stand out in an environment like this? I saw a photo-editing display set up next to a high-tech sewing machine display. CES: daring to take Bedazzled into the 21st century! Too much ... technology ... having ... seizures. People are trying really hard to differentiate themselves. There are lots and lots of scantily clad and heavily made-up ladies—tech tarts!—who leap out at you and want to know "Are you sick of listening to your voicemail?!" (Not if it's from you, hotpants --Ed.). It all smacks of desperation a little.

By far the best thing I've seen so far was a display that involved a performance by a hip hop trio that called itself The Hip Hop Opera. At first I was skeptical (I was, after all, on my way to track down Chuck D, a true godfather, whose appearance here may be evidence that he is no longer fighting the power. I would later learn he is in the South Hall ... of a different hotel.) The Hip Hop Opera is fronted by a guy who goes by Supernatural and who claims to hold the world record for longest free style rap. A quick search on the Internets bears this out.  First he introduces his beat box buddy who does a dazzling display of expectorational pyrotechnics, replete with Grandmaster Flash and Afrika Bambaataa quotes. It would have made Dough E. Fresh proud. It would have brought tears to Rahzel's eyes. Then Supernatural himself grabbed the mic, encouraging the ever-ballooning audience to pull anything they had had out of their pockets. Dude masterfully incorporated everything into his rhymes for a good 20 minutes: Bluetooth, aluminum trinkets, mirror, keys, a crochet needle. Here he is in action (pardon my Blackberry photo-taking non-abilities):

It's a cliche reportorial trick, but a tested one: When you get to a new city, chat up your friendly cab driver. You always learn a little dirt, get a little flavor. (A fellow reporter once told me the same holds true for strippers -- of course, I wouldn't know. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe me?) I've been to Vegas four or five times in the past (this is my first time here for work) and I always learn something new from the cab drivers. Like for example: they absolutely hate CES. Can you blame them? Some 140,000 technophiles flood the city, don't really gamble or drink to excess and leave, I am told, lousy tips. Now they have one more reason to be grumpy: competition. This year they're putting hundreds of additional cabs on the streets during CES (and that other convention). They're also having drivers work shifts of up to 12 hours, which doesn't seem entirely safe. I haven't been able to hammer down a specific number, but one cab driver told me there would be 800 additional taxis; another cabbie told me 500. These guys would make lousy fact checkers. Still, I was curious enough to Google around a bit and found the Las Vegas taxi driver blog, which has this fairly hilarious post about the CES demanding that the taxicab authority put 300 more cars into circulation. Key quote:

"CES is basically a show where juvenile geek’s from all the Globalist hot spots gather in Las Vegas to look at the latest gizmos nobody needs but are convinced they cannot live without.

Don’t expect any earth changing technology to flow from this latest GeekFest. Back in the late 1990’s when the Global Elite figured out the Internet truly could threaten their grip on World Dominance, they have worked mightily to insure the bandwidth never showed up which could have truly diversified Power to all Peoples of the World."

OK, a little batty. Still. Whether there are 300, 500 or 800 more cabs on the road this week is immaterial. It all boils down to one thing for my taxi-driving friends in this fairly astute and poetic conclusion:
 
"So in a nutshell CES and the Taxi Business are similar. Too many apps--too many cabs, and far too few roads and access points to make proper use of."