The phone rings in the St. Paul office of Maj. John Morris, a chaplain with the Minnesota National Guard and point man in the Guard's effort to “reintegrate” soldiers returning from Iraq.

The caller is a woman from Crookston, wife of a soldier who came home last summer after an extended tour.

“We've been walking on egg shells, and we can't take it anymore,” she tells Morris, her frustration billowing like black smoke from a sabotaged Iraqi oil well.

“The kids come to me for everything, like they've been doing the past two years,” she said, as Morris recalled the conversation. “He doesn't want to spend time with our friends; he thinks their interests are trivial and they don't know anything about what his life has been like.

“He says, ‘I just want to be with my war buddies.' ”

How can we help? Morris asked her.

“Send him back to Iraq.”

"We took a unit that was extremely hostile - especially after their time in Iraq was extended - and they didn't want any help at all.  Soldiers can be very direct, and at first they told us, ‘Hey, this is a bunch of crap. I don't need it.'"

In contrast:

Family members often were more receptive to a helping hand than the returning soldiers were, he said. “They had seen things when the troops were home on leave - things like anger, feelings of isolation. They thought, ‘Boy, this is going to be harder than we thought it would be, pulling this family back together.' ”

Also, family members “had been more exposed to media and had heard stories from other families about soldiers coming back with problems,” Morris said. “They had a better idea of what might be needed.”

 
According to local news reports so far these two contrasting groups are now beginning meet halfway with the help of the National Guard program. Now lawmakers are seeking to make Beyond the Yellow ribbon a model for other states to follow.