In 1973 I fell in love for the first time--with a horse that is. I had never even been to a racetrack when my newspaper sent me to cover the Kentucky Derby. When I watched "Big Red", aka Secretariat, work out for the first time, well it was love at first sight. To this day, I  have never seen a horse with more intelligence and character in his face. On Derby Day, I backed my guy to the hilt, which back then meant a $10 play on the nose. I knew this was no place or show kind of animal.

That may seem obvious looking back, but not so that day. Secretariat had stumbled in his prep race, losing the Wood Memorial. And a lot of the smart money was on the great Sham, who would challenge Secretariat all the way to the wire in both the Derby and the Preakness. (Sham's time in the Derby would stand as the second fastest ever for another 28 years.) I confess I was so small-time that I even cashed my winning ticket.

My love affair never abated. When Secretariat won the Belmont Stakes by the still take-my-breath away 31 lengths to become the first Triple Crown winner since the great Citation back in 1948, I began weeping with several furlongs to go. A portrait of Secretariat by the wonderful photographer Henry Horenstein hangs in an honored place in my home, far bigger and more prominently displayed than any family picture.

I was and remain for "Big Red" forever. And, frankly, I admit I was a little distressed when both Seattle Slew and Affirmed won Triple Crowns so soon after, as if that made it seem too easy and somehow depreciated Secretariat's accomplishment. Of course the next three decades have disabused us of that notion. Since Affirmed in '78, 11 horses have won the first two legs only to come up short in the Belmont. I confess I rooted against some of those lovely horses in the '70s and '80s--Spectacular Bid, Pleasant Colony, Alysheba and Sunday Silence. But by '97, with Silver Charm, I was ready for another horse to pull of the feat and I have rooted fervently for them all--Real Quiet, Charismatic (especially Charismatic, a horse in Secretariat's family tree), War Emblem, Funny Cide and Smarty Jones. Of course, to no avail.

But I draw the line at rooting for Big Brown, who is not only going for the glory in tomorrow's Belmont Stakes, but eliciting--for my taste--far too many comparisons to Secretariat. I knew Secretariat and Big Brown is no "Big Red". His winning time at the Derby would have had him too far back even to eat Secretariat's dust. His opposition has been especially undistinguished. Secretariat not only beat the great Sham, but a fine horse in Our Native; Forego, who would go on to be Horse of the Year three years in a row in the mid-70s, finished fourth in that race.

Big Brown appears to be a fine horse, but every revelation about the horse and his team is a turnoff. I understand that steroids are legal. Still, the revelation that Big Brown ran on steroids in the first two legs is dismaying, given what we have learned about the advantages they provide human runners. His trainer, Rick Dutrow, has a checkered past, with a number of racing violations on his record, and for some reason he feels compelled to show his confidence with the kind of trash-talking that has even gone out of fashion in the NBA. His ownership team, which includes a principal with a background of financial irregularities on Wall Street, has appears so anxious to cash in on a champions that some expect Big Brown may never race again after the Belmont--retiring to stud after only six races without invigorating the sport as only a Triple Crown winner can.

While the Big Brown team has said they intend to race the horse in the Travers at Saratoga and in the Breeders Cup Classic this fall, a cracked heel provides plenty of retirement excuses. One can understand the lure of easy money at stud. Smarty Jones, even after losing the Belmont, commands six-figure fees. for his services. But a rapid retirement for Big Brown would further damage a wounded sport, confirming what many already feel--that the sport has become all about investment rather than racing and the fans. Even if Big Brown wins and goes on to fulfill the commitment with two more races, nobody expects the horse to race past his three-year-old season. Affirmed, by contrast, raced after the Belmont, losing twice to the older Triple Crown winner, Seattle Slew. And in his four-year-old season, Affirmed would win his last seven races, capping his career by defeating the great Spectacular Bid to capture Horse of the Year honors.

As I said, Big Brown is no Secretariat. And he's no Affirmed either. I can wait another year, or even ten, for a Triple Crown. With Secretariat's place in the pantheon secure, I am happy to share the glory. It's just that I prefer the horse and his team to be truly worthy.