Clockwise from top left: Clinton, the Obamas, Giuliani, Bloomberg, Biden, Edwards, McCain, Huckabee. Credits: Getty Images, AP, Getty Images (2), JoeBiden.com, AP, McCainBlogette.com, AP

There are many important questions facing voters in 2008. Is a swift withdrawal from Iraq the most responsible course of action, or would sectarian civil conflict then spread beyond the country's borders and engulf the entire region? Should the government push for universal health care, or is a market-based approach--lower costs, new tax incentives--the most effective way to cover uninsured Americans? How do we deal with illegal immigration? Global warming? The specter of nuclear war with Iran?

Or, you know, who's the next Jenna Bush?

Before her recent makeover as an author, caring humanitarian and blushing bride-to-be, Jenna was our brash, boozy, barely legal hellraiser-in-chief. Sure, Stumper respects the difficult choices confronting America as it prepares to head to the polls. But sometimes the utterly insignificant stuff--like which candidate's daughter is most likely to replace our beloved Bush twin in the tabloids--is a lot more fun. Plus, the election is a year away. We'll have plenty of time to get heavy, people.

Here, then, are our exclusive rankings of eight potential Jenna 2.0's. The methodology was simple: read up on the contenders, compare their hijinks to Jenna's, then rate the lovely ladies of 2008 from one (unlike Jenna) to 10 (like Jenna) on our totally arbitrary Jennometer ®. The results:

8. CHELSEA CLINTON, 27

Like Jenna... she's no stranger to the nightlife. In 2002, the British tabloid The Sun reported that Chelsea, then 22, staggered out of London's Embassy Club with her boyfriend Ian Klass--and collapsed on the sidewalk (Klass allegedly carried her to a car, where she slumped in the backseat). "Chelsea couldn't stand or even speak," said an onlooker. "She was wasted." (Not that we believe everything we read in the Sun. Still, photos = a thousand words.) Also in 2002, "a designer-clad Chelsea showed up with Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow at a Versace fashion show in Paris, [where she] set the paparazzi into a feeding frenzy," according to the Associated Press. 

Unlike Jenna... she's not only never been cited for drunken partying, but she's barely been seen after sunset in half a decade. She's in a committed relationship with Marc Mezvinsky, the son of two former members of Congress (the father survived his own scandal). She's worked in consulting and investment analysis (yawn), where, according to the New York Times, she has "[arrived] early, stayed late, showed sound judgment and asked no special favors." She's already endured two terms in the White House. Oh, and her mother, scarred by the Monica melodrama, is running the most paranoid, secretive, controlled campaign in the history of Democratic politics. If Chelsea wants to stay out of the spotlight--she routinely declines interview requests and has yet to speak on the trail--the battle-hardened Clinton clan will keep her out.

Jennometer Rating: -32,000. Pigs will soar through a snowball-filled Hell before Chelsea pulls a Jenna.

7. MALIA, 9, AND/OR SASHA OBAMA, 6

Like Jenna... they are both girls. Not to mention that Malia has shown some of Jenna's trademark sassiness. "Are you going to try to be president?" she asked her father in 2004, giggling. "Shouldn't you be the vice president first?" Touché, Malia. Touché.

Unlike Jenna...they seem to be more interested in picking Halloween costumes (Malia was a mad professor, Sasha a witch) than drunkenly dancing on tables--perfectly understandable, considering that by the end of a second Obama term they still won't be old enough to drink. What's more, neither Obama girl has missed a day of school--and, according to Obama, Malia is "very down on Paris Hilton and all that. In fact, when she finds out that we're staying at a hotel, she asks, 'This isn't a Hilton hotel, is it?'"

Jennometer Rating: 1. A lot can happen during adolescence--especially a White House adolescence--but, for now, we see no compelling indications of Jennasity here.

6. CATE EDWARDS, 25

Like Jenna... she enjoys the lighter side of life. Edwards (a classmate of Stumper's in college) is familiar with the typical undergraduate routine: parties, bad '80s music, keg-filled cups of Milwaukee's Best. She's also worked on fashion spreads at Vanity Fair and co-founded Urbanista, an online rolodex of shops and services for "urban fashionistas" inspired by questions such as “Where should I go to get my Marc Jacobs shoes re-heeled?” and “Does anyone know the best place to get a really great haircut?” Style points!

Unlike Jenna... she's into other things as well. Like attending Harvard Law School, where she works in the Harvard Legal Aid Bureau (Stumper hears her LSAT scores were near-perfect.). Or actively campaigning for her father. Or hanging out with her longterm boyfriend. Not exactly tabloid material.

Jennometer Rating: 3. A high-school valedictorian--and current law student--Cate's too careful, smart, busy and experienced (remember Edwards' 2004 veep bid?) to let the occasional night out hamper her father's candidacy. Drats.

5. (TIE) CAROLINE GIULIANI, 17

Like Jenna... she has a rebellious streak. In August, Slate revealed that, according to her Facebook page, this Harvard freshman had joined a group in support of Barack Obama for president. Despite the devil's horns (I mean, UT- Austin Longhorns) and tongue-wagging, Jenna never went so far as to oppose Dubya's presidential bid. Talk about Daddy issues (the two are estranged following Giuliani's messy 2002 divorce from Caroline's mother). What's more, screen shots of Caroline's Facebook profile (now disabled) show that, when it comes to relationships, she's "looking for random play" and/or "whatever I can get." She's kidding, we're sure. But me-ow.

Unlike Jenna... she's never had a run in with the law, or been caught misbehaving at all, really. Quite an accomplishment for someone who spent high school at Trinity, a tony, "Gossip Girl" enclave on Manhattan's Upper West Side--while her world-famous pops (i.e. "America's Mayor") was basking in the post-9/11 spotlight.

Jennometer Rating: 5. All signs point to Bush-tastic, but Caroline still needs to prove she can keep up with Jenna. Sadly, Harvard isn't exactly Faber College.

5. GEORGINA BLOOMBERG, 24

Like Jenna... she knows how to get attention. Daughter of one of the world's richest men, Georgina reportedly has a pierced tongue, drives a lipstick-red BMW (it matches her manicure) and once posed for Harper's Bazaar wearing a $1,600 gown--while riding a horse. She's currently starring in a tabloidized romance with Cian O’Connor, "a garrulous Irish horseman who forfeited an Olympic gold medal in 2005 when his mount failed a drug test," according to the New York Times.

Unlike Jenna... she won't have much time for debauchery. Georgina not only attends New York University, but, as a world-class equestrienne--she's a two-time gold medalist at the North American Young Riders’ Championship and was among the youngest riders to compete at a World Cup Championship--she's currently training in Florida for the 2008 Summer Olympics. Oh, right--and her dad isn't running (yet).

Jennometer Rating: 5. She has the means to kick up some dust--but right now she's wearing blinders. He-haw.

3. (TIE) SARAH HUCKABEE, 25

Like Jenna... she may be the daughter of a hardcore Christian conservative, but she's apparently not afraid to have fun. In May 2006, a tipster told Wonkette that "the daughter of a potential 2008 candidate was having a very spirited going-away party at the Tortilla Coast on Thursday night. Apparently she's leaving Washington to work for her dad back at home. Quite a few staffers from various congressional offices were on hand... and God only knows how many male admirers." A subsequent search of Sarah's Facebook profile revealed that she was indeed moving to Arkansas to work as field director on her father's campaign. On YouTube, she tells an interviewer that she "can neither confirm nor deny" whether she wears miniskirts, which her dad doesn't like.

Unlike Jenna... we're talking one unsubstantiated rumor on Wonkette and the occasional miniskirt. Photos, folks. We need photos. 

Jennometer Rating: 6. You know what they say about the preacher's daughter. (Hat tip to Lynyrd Skynyrd.)

3. ASHLEY BIDEN, 26

Like Jenna... she's not so cozy with the cops. While visiting family in Chicago in August 2002, Ashley was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of obstructing an officer outside a bar. According to the Chicago Tribune, someone allegedly threw a bottle at police--after which Ashley, then a 21-year-old Tulane undergrad, "blocked the officer's path and made intimidating statements." (She later apologized and charges were dropped.) Sound familiar?

Unlike Jenna... she's not a repeat offender. In fact, she hasn't appeared in the papers since her 2002 arrest. Now she's a social worker. Bo-ring.

Jennometer Rating: 6. Despite her recent silence, we can't ignore the fact that Ashley is the only contender to face off with the Fuzz. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it? 

1. MEGHAN MCCAIN, 23

Like Jenna... she's blond--and proud of it. A 2006 NEWSWEEK summer intern, Meghan was known around our New York offices as fiesty, funny and forthright--much like her father. But unlike Pa McCain, she's a dedicated fashionista and pop-culture maven who'd just as soon discuss Jimmy Choo as Jimmy Carter. A former "Saturday Night Live" staffer, she spent her fair share of nights at alma mater Columbia University exploring Manhattan hot spots. The subject of her senior thesis: ill-fated socialite and Warhol superstar Edie Sedgwick. (Meghan tells me the project never got past the planning stages.) She also has a tattoo (click through and scroll down).

Unlike Jenna... she's allowed to be herself--meaning there may be little need to rebel in the White House (or hide it if she does). On Oct. 1, the McCain campaign launched McCainBlogette.com, a revealing glimpse into the mind of Meghan (and two equally blond blogettes named La-toria Haven and Mary Anne Huntsman). Best post yet: Meghan describing how the pre-debate makeup job she did on her dad minimized his "chipmunk cheeks," then obsessing over her outfit. "For the debate tonight I decided on a black Elie Tahari shift dress and my favorite shoe designer, Barbara Bui for shoes," she writes. "When I say favorite, this woman can do no wrong when it comes to shoes." All aboard the Straight Talk Express!

Jennometer Rating: 8. Think "The Simple Life: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue"--and set your TiVos to record. No scandals necessary. We're already hooked.