On a scale of one to "completely cynical," Stumper would score about a six. When it comes to politicians, I generally assume the worst--but I'm still hoping for the best.

That said, when I received Mike Allen's Politico Playbook this morning and read that the upcoming issue of TV Guide includes a special "What the Candidates Are Watching" column, I couldn't help but notice how "convenient" their choices are. Now, I'm not suggesting that Clinton, McCain and Co. don't actually watch these shows. I'll assume they do. But it's impossible to ignore how well each potential president's picks jibes with his or her electoral strategy. As I said: "convenient."

Below, what the 2008 hopefuls told TV Guide--and what (I think) they're really saying. Absurdly overanalytical? Probably. But you never know...

Hillary Clinton is a fan of HGTV makeover shows, Grey's Anatomy, American Idol, and Dancing with the Stars, but her all-time TV favorite is The Ed Sullivan Show.

I'd be surprised if this lineup weren't poll-tested. It's too perfect. Clinton's key constituency is women--especially young singles and senior citizens  HGTV makeover shows appeals to both groups; nothing softens Hillary's edges and says "I'm comfortable in the kitchen" like a "House Hunters" marathon with the gals. Grey's Anatomy, which centers around a young, unmarried working woman, is hugely popular with the crucial 18-34 demographic (it's ranked sixth on TV.com), while the inoffensive "Ed Sullivan Show" (1948-1971) is sure to evoke fond memories among the AARP set. Toss in "American Idol" and "Dancing with the Stars"--the most-watched shows of the spring and fall, respectively--and you've dotted your i's, crossed your t's and covered every base on the diamond.

Barack Obama tells TV Guide that his favorite TV character of all time is "SpongeBob SquarePants, because SpongeBob is the show I watch with my daughters." His favorite TV shows of all time are M*A*S*H and The Wire.

Obama's key constituency is young voters--hence SpongeBob SquarePants. No, not really. Six year-olds can't caucus. But "M*A*S*H" and "The Wire" are pretty revealing picks. A black comedy that ran on CBS from 1972 to 1983, M*A*S*H was set during the Korean War--but was widely seen as an allegory about the absurdity of Vietnam. Not bad for the only top-tier Dem to call Iraq a "dumb war" before it started. And "The Wire," an HBO series about inner-city Baltimore, appeals largely to young, highly-educated elites, African-Americans (it's the first HBO show syndicated on BET) and sympathetic journalists--Obama's natural coalition.

John Edwards is a fan of Boston Legal, and tells TV Guide that his viewing guilty pleasure is "Fred Thompson on Law & Order."

"Boston Legal" is, of course, a show about trial lawyers. John Edwards is a very successful trial lawyer. After deemphasizing his courtroom experience during his 2004 campaign, Edwards has recently started touting his record as proof that he will fight for the working- and middle-classes. Coincidence? You decide. But it's hardly a stretch to say the "Fred Thompson" reference serves as a handy reminder that Edwards is, you know, rip-roaring and ready for all Republican comers--TV lawyers included.

Dennis Kucinich is a fan of late-night TV, citing The Tonight Show, Late Show, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and Saturday Night Live as his favorites. "Those shows have brilliant writers. It's just great to watch them."

Why won't Leno return my calls?

John McCain lists Prison Break among his favorite TV shows "because as a fellow prisoner, I always dreamed and plotted how I would break out of the Hanoi Hilton," he tells TV Guide.

This one isn't even subtle. I would imagine that the last thing McCain wants to be reminded of each week is his torturous five-and-a-half year stay in a Vietnamese POW camp. But that doesn't mean he's averse to reminding the readers of TV Guide!

Mitt Romney tells TV Guide he is a fan of Lost because it has "a very captivating plot, and if you live a busy life, escape is always welcome."

Actually, Romney's pick seems kind of genuine. Like his favorite book--L. Ron Hubbard's "Battlefield Earth," which later became a notoriously asinine film starring John Travolta--"Lost" is a science-fiction yarn that involves an isolated community battling against strange, dark forces for survival. Perhaps that's what it's like to be a Mormon?

Fred Thompson's favorite TV show is SportsCenter. He tells TV Guide, "I always need to stay up on my Titans, Vols, Vanderbilt and, of course, my Memphis Tigers." 

I don't doubt that the down-home Thompson loves him some football. Or that he's from Tennessee. Know why? Because he cited four football teams in his TV Guide response--and all of them were from Tennessee, too. Coincidentally, Tennessee is in the South, and Thompson is depending on a controversial southern strategy to win the Republican nomination. [Stops self from making Hail Mary joke.]