Two days after Barack Obama
bowled an abysmal 37 in Altoona, Pennsylvania--that's
out of 300, for those of you who haven't hit the lanes, like the senator
himself, "since Jimmy Carter was president"--Hillary Clinton this
afternoon has issued a challenge to her rival for the Democratic
nomination: a "winner take all" bowl-off.
Here's the transcript from her press conference in Philadelphia:
This has been a very hard fought race. We need to do something so
that our party and our people can make the right decision. So I have a
proposal: today I am challenging Senator Obama to a bowl off. A bowling
night right here in Pennsylvania. Winner take all. I’ll even spot him
two frames.
It’s time for his campaign to get out of the gutter and allow all of
the pins to be counted. And I’m prepared to play this game all the way
to the tenth frame. And when this game is over the American people will
know when that phone rings at 3am they’ll have a president who’s ready
to bowl on day one. So let’s strike a deal and go bowling for
delegates. We don’t have a moment to spare.
Of course, Clinton was April Fooling--although, according to
Aaron Burns at FOX News, "at least two reporters were [tricked] at the beginning, saying
their professional lives flashed before their eyes as they considered
how to report back that Senator Clinton had dropped out of the race." Breathe easy, gents.
You've got a ways to go.
Back to the bowl-off. I have to say: I'm charmed. Not because Clinton maintained a straight face, even if her funereal deadpan
was pretty
effective. And not because, as Girlfriend of Stumper can attest, I have
a fogeyish affection for puns like "let's strike a deal" and "we don't
have a moment to spare"--i.e., "
the lowest form of humor."
Instead, it was Clinton's self-awareness that impressed me. Every
campaign has its own absurdities, and today, for the first time,
Clinton seemed to acknowledge hers: the feigned outrage ("get out of
the gutter"), the convenient Florida and Michigan obsession ("allow all
of the pins to be counted"), the pledge to continue until the
convention ("the tenth frame"), the 3:00 a.m. phone call and the "Ready
on Day One" slogan. Both Obama and McCain approach politics with a hint
of ironic detachment; they play the game, sure, but they also signal
from time to time that they understand how silly it can be. That
requires a certain confidence and a certain sanity. I know Clinton was
reading from a script. Still, it's appealing to finally discover that
she can wink at us, too.
So don't worry, Clintonistas. If the White House thing doesn't work out,
the Catskills might be right up her alley.
