Hillary Clinton loves to repeat that she'd be "ready on Day One"--to repair the economy, to lead the military, to reinstall her favorite credenza in the White House master bedroom. Good thing Day One is still 270 days away.
Just ask the Kiwis. On the eve of Pennsylvania's primary, my NEWSWEEK colleague Karen Breslau boldly--or foolishly--prodded the former First Lady for a favorite joke. Clinton's response? "Here's a good one," she said. "Helen Clark, former prime minister of New Zealand:
her opponents have observed that in the event of a nuclear war, the two
things that will emerge from the rubble are the cockroaches and Helen
Clark." While only barely qualifying as a joke--usually these are funny--Clinton's quip did pass muster as something slightly less mirthful: a diplomatic gaffe. It wasn't so much comparing a former prime minister to an indestructible arthropod that sent the New Zealand press into a tizzy after Karen's interview appeared in this week's mag. It was the fact that Helen Clark is still, you know, the prime minister of New Zealand. LOL.
It's not the first time Clinton's stand-up has bombed on the international stage. At an event in Hampton, N.H. on Jan. 7, she mocked George W. Bush's famous line about "looking into [Vladimir] Putin's" soul with a sparkling zinger of her own: "He was a KGB agent. By definition he doesn't have a soul." (Insert rimshot here.) Unfortunately, Putin wasn't pleased.
"At a minimum," he later said, "a head of state should have a head." So much for our Russian relations! To make matters worse, Clinton was just getting over gravely offending another key leader: Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, whom she twice suggested may have ordered Benazir Bhutto's assassination. "We... expect that responsible leaders and public figures in the US
would refrain from making statements that are likely to be distorted
and misused and could further upset the people, who are still in a
state of shock," said Pakistan's Foreign Ministry at the time; the New York senator quickly followed up with an elementary error about Pakistani politics. Since then, she's stumbled when asked the name of Putin's successor, Demetri Medvedev ("Meh, um, Me-ned-vadah. Whatever."); embarrassed British Prime Minister Gordon Brown by wrongly praising him for boycotting the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics; and, um, threatened to "obliterate" Iran. As Politico's Ben Smith puts it, "Clinton, despite her image as a steady hand on foreign policy, leads the field on actual foreign policy blunders this cycle." Paging "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"
Of course, Clinton hasn't suffered much damage for her slips because they contradict (rather than reinforce) the media's preferred narrative; such a list probably would've sunk Barack Obama, who's still struggling to overcome perceptions of inexperience. That said, something tells me the international community will have concerns other than bowling scores and arugula come next January. Like, say, diplomacy.
Fortunately for Clinton, Day One won't arrive for another nine months. That's plenty of time to get ready. And if the White House thing doesn't work out, remember: the Catskills are only 90 miles from Chappaqua.
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