Illustration: Chris Gash for Newsweek
If your parents are unhappy, are you destined for unhappiness, too? Psychologists used to believe that genes played a determining role in our state of mind. But new research is finding that people can do more than previously thought to improve their outlook on life. “Things are more complex than simple genetic models suggest,” says Ed Diener, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois who researches subjective well-being. “People are stuck with the genes they have … but we know that adult personality can change, and people probably have some control over this.”
How much control is still a matter of debate within the field. In a new book, “The How of Happiness” (Penguin Press. $24.95), Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, proposes that a full 40 percent of our happiness is within our control. Using data from research on identical and fraternal twins, she concludes that an additional 50 percent is determined by genetics. The remaining 10 percent is dictated by circumstance—like a recent divorce or a financial windfall. “In the past, we’ve heard you can’t make people happy sustainably because happiness is genetic or because life’s circumstances won’t allow it,” says Lyubomirsky. “I argue that there are things we can actually change.”
Lyubomirsky, who has been studying happiness for nearly two decades, offers a dozen so-called happiness intervention strategies in her book, all backed by her own or others’ research. With help from a National Institute of Mental Health grant, she and colleague Ken Sheldon have conducted or reviewed dozens of studies with participants who, for example, wrote letters of gratitude, performed conscious acts of kindness or kept a “best possible selves” journal to outline future goals over six or more weeks. When compared with control groups, those who performed the activities regularly reported “significantly bigger” increases in their happiness levels, as compared with before the intervention. “Even nine months later, we still saw the effects: those who continued to practice these strategies had more sustained happiness,” she says. Here’s more advice from the book:
Don’t overthink it. When you catch yourself stewing over something, tell yourself, “Stop.” Or set aside 30 minutes late in the day to do nothing but ruminate. Chances are, when the appointed time comes, the issues that plagued your thoughts earlier will seem less consequential.
Learn good coping skills. Write down traumatic experiences and learn how to recognize, and argue with, overly pessimistic thoughts.
Savor life’s joys. Relish ordinary experiences, like a good meal or a hot shower; conjure up a favorite memory when you’re down.
Cultivate optimism. After studying Lyubomirsky’s strategies, photographer Kelly Radinsky, 45, set aside time each evening when she, her husband and two kids, ages 5 and 9, take turns sharing the favorite parts of their day.
Lyubomirsky recommends only trying strategies that match your personality and repeating them only as often as they fit into your schedule (otherwise, they could seem like obligations). She admits that some suggestions may sound “hokey” but stresses that they are based on controlled studies or correlational data showing they can significantly improve participants’ level of happiness compared with those who do not perform the exercises.
“This isn’t someone standing up and saying, ‘Just think positive thoughts.’ She’s doing rigorous research,” says Alan Kazdin, professor of psychology at Yale University and president of the American Psychological Association. “We’ve learned over the past few decades that there are strategies you can use that can actually change the brain, change behavior and then mood and understanding follow.”
Radinsky, who inherited “dark genes” from an abusive father and suicidal mother, says she sometimes has to work at making Lyubomirsky’s strategies a habit, but it’s worth it. “I think they can make the difference between a happy and an unhappy life,” she adds. That’s good news for the pessimists among us.
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