TipSheet : Featured

Discipline: When Kids Attack

Anna Kuchment — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:28:54 GMT

Illustration: Zohar Lazar for Newsweek

By Anna Kuchment

Nancy Plant wasn’t sure how to prevent her daughter’s playdates from veering toward disaster. Five-year-old Kate “liked to be in control,” says Plant, an attorney from Bainbridge Island, Wash. Kate would tell her friends what to do and, if they decided not to follow her instructions, she “would get mad and not want to play with them.” Tears ensued. After trying several strategies that seemed only to make matters worse, Plant and her husband, George Jarecke, turned to a parent coach. For $75 an hour ($100 for an introductory session), Sally Kidder Davis of Sound Parent (soundparent.com) met with Plant and Jarecke to talk through potential solutions. One was to talk to Kate about the importance of being a responsible hostess. If she couldn’t help her guests enjoy themselves, she couldn’t have them over. The strategy worked.

Parents like Plant are turning to coaches to help them puzzle out the daily dilemmas of child rearing. The Parent Coaching Institute (parentcoachinginstitute.com), based in Bellevue, Wash., certifies 40 new coaches per year, up from its first class of just eight students in 2001. Coaches advise parents with kids of all ages on issues ranging from sleep training to fussy eating and managing screen time to coping with adult sons and daughters who’ve moved back into the house.

Why pay a stranger to meddle in your family affairs? Most simply want support and validation. Some are lured by the miracle cures on “Nanny 911.” Many live far from close family and friends and feel unsure of where to turn for reliable advice. Plant found comfort in talking to Kidder Davis precisely because she was an outsider. “There’s a limit to what your friends can do for you,” says Plant. “Sometimes with parents there’s a hint of competition that makes it hard to ask, ‘What the heck am I doing wrong?’ ” Other parents find that coaches help them filter out conflicting advice they hear on talk shows and read in books and magazines. Pamela Paul, author of “Parenting, Inc.” (Times Books. $25), sees coaching as a sign of something more insidious: the professionalization of parenthood. “The parenting industry has convinced parents that they cannot trust their children’s health, happiness and success to themselves,” she writes.

Still, there are times when outside advice can prove helpful. I recently called on Urban Nurture (urbannurture.com), a New York City-based parent-coaching and nanny-referral agency for parents with kids ages 7 and younger. Founder Sally Wilkinson interviewed me, then matched me up with a coach. A few days later, Claire, a friendly, professional British nanny, showed up at our door. Among other issues, I explained that my 2-year-old daughter threw tantrums whenever her father wanted to put her to bed instead of me. Of course, we cave in every time. The coach suggested giving our daughter plenty of warning the next time her dad wanted to do the bedtime routine. Perhaps my husband could take her to the bookstore to pick out some new reading material just for them. Then we should follow through no matter how much she protests. (We have yet to muster the courage to try this.) In addition, Claire offered helpful advice on nutritious snacks, suggested we shorten naps so our daughter would turn in earlier at night and complimented us on our array of educational toys. That small amount of validation made the visit worthwhile.

Different coaches offer different approaches. Urban Nurture’s style is more in the vein of “Supernanny”: a coach comes to your home, assesses the situation and offers advice in as little as two hours, though parents can book as many sessions as they’d like. Kidder Davis and most other PCI grads prefer to work with parents on a longer-term basis. Her approach fuses that of therapist and educator: she helps clients arrive at their own solutions over a series of four to 12 one-hour consultations, which she does in her office or over the phone. Cathy Adams of Chicago’s Intentional Parent (intentionalparent.net), another PCI grad, operates exclusively by phone so she can stay home with her three daughters. Both supply clients with a range of educational literature, including books on child rearing and development (see soundparent.com/recommended_reading.shtml).

When choosing a coach, look for one with relevant experience. Those with PCI certification have backgrounds in fields related to child development. Kidder Davis holds a master’s in education; Adams is a licensed social worker. Urban Nurture’s coaches are all professional British nannies with a minimum of 15 years’ experience. If they can’t help with your problems, you might really be in trouble.

Get Your Sperm Moving

Newsweek — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:03:08 GMT

Illustration: Mark Matcho for Newsweek

By Karen Springen

Like many couples, Brian Delaney, 35, and his wife, Daniela, 34, turned to in vitro fertilization after failing to conceive on their own. But after five attempts and an investment of $150,000, IVF failed them as well. Then Brian saw a male-infertility specialist, Columbia University’s Dr. Harry Fisch, who discovered that Brian’s low sperm production could be corrected through microsurgery. Three months later, Daniela was pregnant. Last November she delivered a baby boy, Harrison.

Long overlooked, male infertility has become a fruitful field of research. Doctors now know that, when a couple fails to conceive, the problem lies with the man as often as with the woman. And as the Delaneys learned, recent advances have dramatically improved experts’ understanding of how to diagnose, treat and prevent the condition. “Anything that makes the body unhealthy—a disease, toxins, excessive alcohol—will hurt fertility,” says UCSF urologist Paul Turek. “But most of these things that hurt fertility are reversible.” Some tips for men:

Prune your prescriptions. Among the commonly prescribed medicines that can affect fertility or libido are SSRI antidepressants like Prozac, beta blockers for hypertension, alpha blockers like Flomax (used to treat the symptoms of an enlarged prostate), the stomach-ulcer drug Tagamet and pain medications like morphine and oxycodone.

Men who are trying to conceive should also avoid using anabolic steroids and testosterone creams and injections because they shut down the body’s production of testosterone and sperm. “The body loves it, but the testicles hate it,” says Turek. “They say, ‘Well, there’s plenty of testosterone. I don’t need to make testosterone or sperm myself’.”

Have more sex. It sounds obvious, but some busy couples don’t make enough time for it. During ovulation—about 10 to 18 days after a woman’s period starts—couples should have sex every other day to “optimize sperm motility,” says Fisch, who is also the author of “The Male Biological Clock.” After five days without sex, a man has a higher volume of fluid, which dilutes the concentration of sperm and makes them less active.

Stay fit. Doctors are seeing more men with obesity-caused infertility. Fat converts testosterone to estrogen, and obese men (or those with a waist circumference of more than 40 inches) are more prone to erectile dysfunction. Men with type 2 diabetes, often associated with obesity, are more prone to low testosterone levels, which negatively affect libido and sperm production.

Doctors can prescribe anti-estrogens like Clomid, used to increase egg production in women, to stimulate testosterone production and, in many men, sperm production.

Stay cool. Heat can damage sperm cells, so stay out of hot tubs, avoid putting your laptop on your lap and don’t sit for long periods of time with your legs crossed or pressed together, says Dr. Peter Schlegel, chairman of urology at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York. There’s also some evidence linking cell-phone radiation with altered sperm cells in men, so don’t “live on the cell phone,” and keep the device in your jacket or holstered to your belt rather than in your front pants pocket, he says.

See a urologist. “Even those men who we considered to be sterile in the past, we almost always can treat them now,” says Schlegel. Urologists can provide treatments such as vasectomy reversals and outpatient microsurgery for conditions like blocked ducts, scarring from STDs and varicoceles, a type of varicose vein.

Men who want to boost their fertility should also quit smoking, cut back on alcohol, avoid illegal drugs (especially marijuana) and exercise regularly. “Anything that improves medical health is likely to improve sperm,” says University of Illinois at Chicago andrologist Craig Niederberger. Then be patient. “In the world today, people want to act too quickly. ‘We tried for two months, we didn’t get pregnant, we want IVF’,” says urologist Robert Oates, director of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Boston University School of Medicine. Sometimes “try, try again” comes with its own rewards.

Safaris for the Family

Newsweek — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 17:10:43 GMT

Richard Dobson/Getty images
Wild Things: A family comes across Masai giraffes during an afternoon excursion in South Africa

Feb 11, 2008 issue
By Tara Weingarten

Twice before, Alison and Geoff Edelstein had been on an African safari and thought it was the best vacation they had ever taken. They awoke each morning at 5, hopped on an open-air 4 x 4, and drove into the world of giant elephants that gathered at sunrise to chomp on the dewy leaves. But it wasn’t until they brought their two teenage boys with them on a recent trip to South Africa and Zambia that they fully appreciated the journey. “It is the biggest experience you can imagine, and you just want to share it with the people you love the most,” says Alison, 44, of Pacific Palisades, Calif.

Many families dream of visiting southern Africa to see free-roaming lions and rhinos up close. But such a trip is likely to be one of the most expensive vacations you’ll take in your lifetime, even if done on a budget. For that reason, many travelers wait until midlife to make the trek, when they have more disposable income and their kids are old enough to cope with jet lag, sit through long safari rides and get the full impact of what they’re seeing. Now winter through springtime is the best time to go—the bush is less dense and the animals are easier to spot.

To maximize your visit in Africa and reduce the costliness of inter- and intra-country travel, plan a trip that requires as few plane rides as possible. Even a short 15-minute airlift can cost hundreds of dollars. Opt for visiting just one or two countries. A good one- or two-week visit might include South Africa, which has a number of regularly scheduled flights from Johannesburg to a large number of game reserves, and Zambia, where the exquisite Victoria Falls offers a different African experience from a game drive.

Several reserves in South Africa cater well to Western tastes, with rooms outfitted with luxury toiletries, high-thread-count linens and minibars stocked with goodies. But those who prefer to rough it have plenty of choices, too.

At Richard Branson’s Ulusaba private game reserve (from $570 per person per night; ulusaba.com) on the Sabi Sand Reserve near Kruger National Park, experienced rangers take guests on daily sunrise and sunset rides for close encounters with the big five: lions, elephants, water buffalo, leopards and rhinos. In the morning, safari-goers stop mid-drive at particularly stunning vistas to enjoy a tailgate snack, and again in the evening for the much-loved sundowner cocktail. The resort is unique for its small number of guests and impeccable personalized service.

Young children are welcome at Ulusaba, though families with kids under age 13 must book a private game drive so that other resort guests won’t be put out if your kids want to stop the excursion early. (Sabi Sand Reserve is a malaria area, so check with your physician about taking prophylactic medication before you go.)

Less expensive accommodations can be found at the 22-guest Elephant Plains Game Lodge, also in the Sabi Sand Reserve, for about $288 per person per night. It offers the same all-inclusive twice-daily big-game drive and in-suite baths in comfortable cottages.

Travel to Zambia to see Victoria Falls, a World Heritage site that dwarfs Niagara’s claim to fame and is the longest curtain of water in the world. The Royal Livingstone hotel (from $768 for a room that can accommodate up to a family of four; www.suninternational.com) is perched along the Zambezi River and offers uninterrupted views of the churning river and the smoky mist of the falls. Make sure you sip a cocktail on the hotel’s wooden deck, just yards from the massive falls. A much less expensive alternative, the Zambezi Sun (www.suninternational .com), has rooms starting at $122 and is within walking distance of the falls. Make sure to stay overnight on the Zambia side of the Zambezi River, since Zimbabwe’s political strife makes it unsafe for tourists on the other side. It’s still safe, however, to make a quick and thrilling trek across the Zambezi Gorge on a frightening single-file bridge high above the river and get completely soaked by the falls’ surprisingly warm mist. It’s what Dr. David Livingstone would do, if he came upon the river today.

A Recession Handbook

Linda Stern — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:47:08 GMT

Illustration: Michael Klein for Newsweek

Let Ben Bernanke worry about the world—you worry about your wallet. Some economists are predicting the first U.S. recession since 2001’s slide, when the stock market dropped as much as 30 percent, personal income fell sharply and more than 2 million jobs disappeared. It’s nice that Washington wants to throw some stimulus your way, but don’t bet everything on that $600-per-taypayer check. Here’s how to protect yourself from bad times.

Protect your job. Stay visibly busy, says New York headhunter Stephen Viscusi. The first employees to go during a recession are the high-maintenance slackers. Come in early, leave late, eat lunch at your desk and try to figure out how you can make your boss’s life easier and more profitable. Update your résumé with all your current skills and accomplishments, even if you’re not planning on job hunting. You can post that résumé, absent your current employer’s name, at online job sites like Monster.com, just to see what else is out there. If you’re ready for a change, Vault.com reports that health-care and sales careers are the most promising and protected during downturns.

Protect your portfolio. It’s a little too late to sell off your stocks: now you stand a good chance of selling low and then trying to buy in high later. So stick with your plan, and use Wall Street’s dismal days to cherry-pick bargain stocks for the next expansion. It always comes, says Sam Stovall of Standard & Poor’s, who points out that most bear markets recover in less than a year. Which stocks do best when the economy is at its worst? Alcohol, tobacco, health care, gaming, utilities and consumer necessities. S&P is recommending Budweiser, Colgate-Palmolive, LabCorp of America and Altria as some promising picks.

Don’t rush into bonds, and be especially wary of bond mutual funds, counsels financial planner Sheryl Garrett of Shawnee Mission, Kans. With interest rates low, yields aren’t worth the effort. And once the economy strengthens enough to see higher rates (which are necessary to keep pulling in foreign investors, too), the value of those bonds, and the funds that hold them, will fall.

Protect your pocketbook. Make paying down your debts a priority, counsels Garrett. Kill the credit-card balance as quickly as possible, even if you have to give up new clothes and nights out to do it. You can even draw down your emergency savings account to pay off the credit card, as long as you keep the card balance at zero after that. Then you could use the card in an emergency until you rebuild the fund. Apply for a home-equity line of credit, so it’s available for emergencies, but don’t use it. Consider refinancing your home mortgage while the Federal Reserve is holding rates down, especially if you have an expensive or risky loan now. Don’t be shy about holding cash in safe, stable, boring spots like FDIC-insured bank certificates of deposit.

Protect your psyche. Remind yourself that recessions are a normal part of a healthy economic cycle, and resist panic. To stay calm, write a list of all the extra ways you could make or save money in a pinch: share a car or rent out a room of your house. When you have options, it seems less scary.

And don’t feel guilty about disappointing our nation’s leaders if you use the stimulus package to put your financial house in order. When that government check comes, probably sometime in March, don’t spend it. Use it to pay down your credit-card bill, or put it to work in your retirement- or college-savings account. Think of it this way: if you’ve got debt, you’ve already done your patriotic duty by buying all that stuff in the first place.

When It’s Quitting Time

Linda Stern — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:37:21 GMT

Illustration by Tim Bower for Newsweek

Bill Barnes and Sara Cole are downwardly mobile. In the mid-1990s, the Seattle couple was living large on two Microsoft salaries and no big responsibilities. Sara, now 38, gave up her job when daughters Theo, 7, and Rosie, 4, came along. Then Bill, 41, an artist, developed “Unshelved”—a comic strip that he loves far more than the commute and the cubicle. So he quit, too, leaving Microsoft last month to go solo as a cartoonist and pushing his family farther down the security and income spectrum.

Last year Bill raked in roughly $180,000. This year, if he’s able to build the comic strip as he hopes and do some consulting around the edges, he might earn $80,000. The couple has carved up the family budget; they’ve moved to a smaller home, limited their restaurant meals and begun to shop at thrift stores. But they’re happier. “I think I’ve held my last job,” says Barnes.

He and Cole are part of a minitrend, says Chicago outplacement consultant John Challenger. The percentage of married couples with two salaries peaked at 53.4 percent in 1997; now it is 51.8 percent. Husbands and wives are leaving jobs midcareer, some to stay home with kids, others to help ailing parents and others to tend their own fledgling businesses. And some, of course, get laid off. Here’s how to make the transition to a smaller, perhaps sweeter life.

Run the numbers. They won’t be as grim as you think. The first thing you give up with the second salary is taxes. When a husband and wife each earn $50,000 and one quits, the tax savings off the top are $14,825, calculates Bob Scharin, a senior tax analyst with Thomson Tax & Accounting. You’ll also save money on downtown lunches, fancy work clothes and all the other things you buy—from convenience meals to child care—to make your working life easier. To find out exactly how much of a gap you’ll be left with, crunch the numbers with these online calculators: kiplinger.com/tools/managing/afford.html and parents.com/ app/stayathomecalculator.

Ease into it. If you have the luxury of planning your exit, start living on less as soon as possible. Bank extra cash in a rainy-day fund. Apply for a home-equity line of credit before you quit, just to make sure you have a source of cash for emergencies.

Squeeze the budget. Some couples find extra cash by cutting their retirement contributions and college savings during the first lean year or two. That’s OK, but it’s better if you can keep saving and close the gap by living below your means. When Lewes, Dela., financial planner Burt Hutchinson’s wife, Pam, left her job, the couple made a list of possible savings. Among them: stretching their mortgage with a 30-year fixed loan, which they haven’t yet done.

Then spend more. Buy term life and disability insurance for the family breadwinner and consider term life insurance for the stay-at-home spouse. If necessary, use the quitting spouse’s COBRA benefits to keep the family health insurance. If you’re still able to save for retirement, set up a spousal Individual Retirement Account for the nonworking spouse, to make sure his retirement savings keep pace.

Keep the career fires burning. It’s one thing to drop out of the work force for a while; it’s another to give up contacts and skills that will ease your transition back. Yvonne Lefort, a career consultant from Moraga, Calif., who specializes in stay-at-home moms, tells them to meet former colleagues for coffee, take classes to keep their tech skills alive and attend the occasional professional conference.

Renegotiate the partnership. Sometimes the biggest adjustment when a couple transitions from two jobs to one isn’t the budget, it’s the marriage. “We had to do a lot of work in our relationship when we switched to a traditional bread-earner/stay-at-home-wife deal,” says Barnes. He puts all his earnings in a joint account and then he and Cole draw equal but small amounts for personal spending and gift giving. The quitting spouse might be sacrificing a career for the sake of a family, or the working spouse may be sticking with a less-than-wonderful job to support the quitting spouse’s dream. “If there are quid pro quos involved, it’s important to make them explicit,” says San Francisco financial adviser Milo Benningfield. “Make sure each partner agrees on the reasons for the transition and acknowledges each other’s efforts, sacrifices and good will in helping to make it happen.” So talk about it, every step of the way. Without that pesky job, you should have plenty of time.

Budget Travel: 10 Celebrity-Trashed Hotel Rooms

Newsweek — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 20:29:47 GMT

There are so many creative ways to trash a perfectly good hotel room--it's come naturally to rockers and divas like these for decades.

By Marc Spitz/Budget Travel

The first instance of modern hotel room trashing can probably be traced to F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, who reportedly fled their eucalyptus-scented bungalow at the now-demolished Ambassador Hotel of L.A.'s Wilshire Boulevard after it caught fire. The high-living Jazz Age icons were concerned about their massive bill, which was quickly coming due. These 10 outrageous incidents help explain why we've had to leave a credit card at the front desk ever since.

I said spaghetti pomodoro !
The risk of selecting pasta from a room service menu is that it may arrive overheated, much like the frequently boiling blood of Amy Winehouse . In one of a seemingly endless series of mini meltdowns, the beehive-coiffed British pop singer, 24, hurled a plate of spaghetti Bolognese at the wall of her Munich , Germany , hotel room. Two months earlier, Winehouse tallied up nearly $18,000 worth of damage to her room at London 's posh Sanderson hotel after a fight with her scrawny hubby. A hotel staffer told the British tab Sunday Mirror , which has gleefully chronicled Winehouse's year in celeb hell: "I've certainly never seen anything like it before. They had to get an outside firm to clean blood off the walls, and then there was a hefty paint job." Sanderson, 50 Berners St., London, England, 011-44/20-7300-1400, sandersonlondon.com , rooms from £ 215 ($435).

Won't get fooled again
On August 23, 1967, while touring with fellow British Invasion band Herman's Hermits, The Who's Keith Moon observed his 21st birthday by raising a celebratory toast—and a dozen more—to the spirit of uncontainable destruction that marked both his drumming and his lifestyle. He hurled a five-tier cake into the crowd partying in his hotel room, promptly ruining the carpet and setting off a food fight. Someone even emptied all the fire extinguishers on his floor (in a post-trashing interview, Moon claimed the damages totaled $24,000). When a police officer showed up, Moon, stripped down to his underwear, jumped into a nearby Lincoln Continental, drove it through a fence, and abandoned it at the bottom of the Flint Holiday Inn's pool. In a final flourish, he slipped on a piece of marzipan and knocked out his front teeth. The officer escorted Moon to the dentist before throwing him in jail for a few hours. Forty years on, this incident remains the granddaddy of all rock and roll lodging smashups. The Who were subsequently banned from all Holiday Inns for life. Sadly for Moon, that would amount to only about 11 years. Days Inn Flint (formerly Flint Holiday Inn), 2207 West Bristol Rd. , Flint , Mich. , 810/239-4681, daysinn.com , rooms from $58.

The suspect is two feet tall and well armed
Guests at Manhattan 's posh Mark Hotel were awakened at 5:30 a.m. on September 13, 1994 , by the sounds of shattering glass, snapping wood, and loud domestic squabbling. When police entered the $1,200-per-night Presidential Suite, they found actor Johnny Depp and his then-girlfriend, supermodel Kate Moss, sitting amidst a pile of debris—but they did not find the armadillo Depp reportedly blamed the vandalism on. Depp was taken to the city's 19th Precinct station house, booked on felony criminal mischief charges, and billed $9,767 for the damages. Coincidentally, one of the put-out guests at the hotel that evening was Roger Daltrey, singer for alpha hotel destroyers The Who. "On a scale of 1 to 10, I give him a 1," Daltrey told People magazine. "It took him so bloody long. The Who could've done the job in one minute flat." Years later, Depp, then split from Moss, claimed the hotel's owner thanked him for all the free publicity. The Mark Hotel , 25 E. 77th St. , New York , N.Y. , 212/772-1600, themarkhotel.com . Closed for renovations through summer 2008.

Next eBay search: "syringes"
If Lindsay Lohan stuck with rehab long enough, she might make one of those 12-step meetings where they recommend avoiding people, places, and things that might trigger a relapse. Places like luxury beachside hotels with well-stocked minibars. They might also warn against dating someone met inside rehab. Someone like Riley Giles, late of Utah 's exclusive Cirque Lodge facility, who was with LiLo in early December 2007 when she laid waste to Room 645 at Shutters on the Beach. According to Star , Lohan and her ex-boyfriend spent three days wreaking havoc. An unnamed source told the tabloid, "It was a pigpen. There was filth everywhere and the room stank of cigarette smoke.... There was also a bloody syringe that someone left lying on the bedside table on a room-service tray. Hotel security photographed it before calling someone to remove it, because it was considered hazardous waste." That would also describe what's become of the once-promising actress's career. Shutters reportedly had to bring in an outside cleaning crew to repair the damages to the room. Shutters on the Beach, 1 Pico Blvd. , Santa Monica , Calif. , 310/458-0030, shuttersonthebeach.com , from $485.

Stone crazy
Have you ever noticed that your hotel room's television set has been bolted into the armoire? This story may explain why. At the L.A. stop of the Rolling Stones' 1972 North American tour, guitarist Keith Richards— and musician Bobby Keyes—grabbed the TV set from Room 1015 at the Continental Hyatt House, carried it out on the balcony 10 stories above the parking lot, and pitched it over the side. Richards remains an edgy rock icon in part because of his keen sense of self-mythology. He waited to make sure documentarian Robert Frank's camera was rolling before condemning the TV to its cruel fate. "O.K., you can tell us when," Richards croaked, then let the TV fly into legend. The footage (available in Frank's documentary and on YouTube) inspired dozens of copycats looking for a quick conduit to achieving Keith-hood. Hyatt West Hollywood (formerly the Continental Hyatt House), 8401 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, Calif., 323/656-1234, westhollywood.hyatt.com , rooms from $240.

What happens in Bangkok ...
In 1989, as the decade that made him a superstar drew to a close, Billy Idol found himself in Bangkok , Thailand . His plan for prolonging the party just a little more (more, more) was hatched in the Oriental hotel, but Idol allegedly soaked the carpets with some kind of fluid, and was quickly asked to vacate. From there, as with most urban myths based in Thailand , details get fuzzy. If rumor is to be believed, he embarked on a three-week drug-fueled orgy with an outrageous tab in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. It, too, ended with flustered staff. Idol is said to have refused to leave the penthouse of another hotel, forcing local military officials to tranquilize him and carry him out on a stretcher. The room was then occupied by a visiting dignitary with a long-standing reservation—and no demonic sneer. The Oriental, 48 Oriental Ave. , Bangkok , Thailand , 011-66/2-659-9000, mandarinoriental.com/bangkok , rooms from $349.

The proto-Paris Hilton
Edie Sedgwick was the It Girl of the Swinging '60s art and fashion set, and a muse to both Andy Warhol and Bob Dylan. Yet the hard-partying socialite was also reportedly afraid of the dark. Her habit of falling asleep surrounded by lit candles resulted in an apartment fire in October 1966. After moving into Manhattan 's bohemian enclave, Hotel Chelsea, she ignored both recent history and a cryptic warning by fellow denizen Leonard Cohen. (The songwriter insisted Sedgwick's candle arrangements were "casting a bad spell.") Soon another rug was on fire, and shortly thereafter, the entire room was too. Luckily none of the hotel's guests were seriously injured, but Sedgwick's cat perished in the blaze. Its name? Smoke. Hotel Chelsea, 222 W. 23rd. St. , New York , N.Y., 212/243-3700, hotelchelsea.com , rooms from $209.

While you were out
On March 24, 1997 , French thespian Juliette Binoche accepted a Best Supporting Actress statuette for The English Patient as part of the 69th Annual Academy Awards ceremony at the Shrine Auditorium. Simultaneously, at her hotel just a short drive away, bass player Mike Dirnt of Green Day allegedly accepted the notion of defecating on her balcony as part of, well, nobody knows for sure. In fact, Dirnt strongly denies that this even happened, and considers the (fecal) matter closed. Yet he remains, at least in the minds of scatological crime enthusiasts, forever dangled over that balcony. The band was indeed staying in the rock-and-movie-star haunt, the Sunset Marquis, while recording their Nimrod album. One can't help but wonder about Binoche's first thought upon returning home from the after parties and spotting the now-fabled dookie. Sunset Marquis Hotel and Villas, 1200 N. Alta Loma Rd., West Hollywood, Calif., 310/657-1333, sunsetmarquishotel.com , rooms from $450.

43 is the new 23
In London to test out new material at a small Shepherd's Bush gig, recidivist hotel trasher Courtney Love celebrated her 43rd birthday with an impromptu room party at the Covent Garden Hotel on July 9, 2007 . While reflecting among revelers and well-wishers like British TV star Noel Fielding (of The Mighty Boosh ), the voice in her head might have gently suggested " Gee, I'm older now, more mature, wiser...do I still have it in me to completely freakin' destroy this perfectly charming rented space? " The cleaning staff discovered the answer to that question the following morning. "The room was left in a right state like a wild animal had been let loose in there," an unnamed witness later told the Daily Mirror . There were reportedly cigarette burns in the carpet, the sofa, and the bed—not just the bedding, but the actual four-poster bed. Love's rep played down the extent of the damage by claiming that one of the guests was "leaning on a table." Hotel management insisted that "what our guests do in here is between them and us," leaving open a window of possibility for her 44th. Covent Garden Hotel, 10 Monmouth St., London, England, 011-44/20-7806-1000, firmdale.com , rooms from £250 ($513).

Do not further disturb
The case of billionaire maverick Howard Hughes proves that with enough money, ingenuity, and henchmen, one can stretch the spontaneous room trashing into a prolonged exercise in grand-scale dementia. Hughes checked into a ninth-floor room at Las Vegas 's Desert Inn on Thanksgiving 1966, and, as was his habit, rented out two floors to ensure privacy. When it came time to check out, weeks later, Hughes instead arranged to purchase the entire hotel (one of five he would come to own in Vegas). He closed outside access to the ninth floor and added a 24-hour security checkpoint at the elevator. He reportedly spent much of the late '60s watching the Rock Hudson film Ice Station Zebra on a loop, having installed a cinema-quality sound system that caused the walls to shake. As his obsessive-compulsive disorder manifested itself as severe germophobia, Hughes supposedly stopped dressing, bathing, and clipping his nails; stored his own urine in jars; and wore tissue boxes for shoes. Films such as The Aviator and The Hoax explore the sights and sounds of this dark period. None have addressed the smell, which is best left to the imagination. Wynn Las Vegas (formerly Desert Inn), 3131 Las Vegas Blvd., South Las Vegas, Nev., 702/770-7100, wynnlasvegas.com , from $199.

Note: This story was accurate when it was published. Please be sure to confirm all rates and details directly with the companies in question before planning your trip.

Tip Sheet Holiday Gift Guide

Newsweek — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:41:26 GMT

Silver Speedster: Tykes can go for the checkered flag with this little racer. $89; modmama.com
Photo: Damien Donck for Newsweek

Panicking about wedging another gift-giving season into your crammed schedule? Relax, we’ve got you covered with fun and funky presents for all your nearest and dearest. Happy Holidays.

See our gallery of 100 of our favorite things to give this year.

Logging On to Lose Those Extra Pounds

Newsweek — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:44:56 GMT

Photo illustration by Viktor Koen for Newsweek

Jeanne Dulaney is a time-crunched software consultant who often eats out on the company expense account. But the 51-year-old from Montgomery, Ala., paid the price for her frequent restaurant dining: 40 extra pounds on her 5-foot 5-inch frame. With little time to commit to a real-world weight-loss program, Dulaney became a mouse-clicking dieting maven after seeing an ad for ediets.com. “I’m on my computer all the time, so I figured I’d give it a try,” she says.

Three years later, Dulaney is nearly 50 pounds lighter. She’s even started to run half-marathons with some new- found friends, other members of ediets.com. “Everyone who is trying to lose weight needs help,” she says. “I got mine from my computer.”

No one actually knows how many people like Dulaney have found weight-loss success with Internet-based commercial programs. But what is clear is that Web-based diets are becoming a booming part of the $30 billion U.S. weight-loss industry. The choices are endless. Internet-only weight-loss programs like ediets.com, diet.com and WebMD, and diet icons like Weight Watchers and South Beach are all competing for your weight-loss bucks. Even fitness franchise Curves opened a new online dieting site last week.

Although research into the effectiveness of online dieting is in its infancy, science is showing that it probably won’t hurt you. And, depending on the program’s components, these online purveyors may help you drop some pounds. With 24/7 access and anonymity, the sites may be helpful for folks who are too busy, or too shy, to attend a more structured program.

In a study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, Brown University researchers found that Internet dieters who received weekly e-mail advice from behavioral therapists and had peer support through bulletin boards lost three times as much weight in six months as those who received only Internet-based diet and exercise information.

“There are a lot of unanswered questions about how the Internet can help people lose weight,” says Rena Wing of the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University and a cofounder of the National Weight Control Registry. “But what’s clear is, there needs to be some type of professional guidance available.” Look for programs that allow you to interact with a dietitian or other weight professional who can help individualize a program. Wing also recommends looking for sites that incorporate proven real-world strategies like nutrition guidance, physical activity and a tracking system that allows you to log meals and exercise.

The good news is that many online programs do offer a combo platter of personalized service, with most costing about $5 a week. At diet.com, you can get a customized diet-and-exercise program based on your personality type. If you’re too busy to cook, ediets.com will send you fresh, chef-prepared meals five ($99) or seven ($131.60) days a week. WebMD will give your favorite family recipe a healthy makeover

Check out consumerreports.org or onlinediet-services-review.toptenreviews.com to get an idea of what these programs can do for you and your waistline. In Dulaney’s case, she lost weight and gained some new best friends.

With Roxana Popescu

Who Needs Preschool?

Newsweek — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 15:09:46 GMT

Early Learners: Preschools start with free play, then build up to more group time.

Nov. 12, 2007 issue

Allegra and Eric Lowitt toured several preschools and child-care centers in 2006 before finding the right match for their daughter, Dana, now almost 3. The Lowitts, who live outside Boston, settled on Needham’s Chestnut Children’s Center (from $4,500 per year for part-time preschool to $22,000 for full-time, year-round care), where the teachers are certified in early-childhood education and toddlers follow themed curricula that introduce such skills as letter recognition through games, field trips and other activities. Each day, Dana’s teacher gives the Lowitts a printed summary of their daughter’s activities, from what she ate to whom she played with. “It’ll say, ‘Dana loved making pumpkin muffins, and she held hands with Anna on the playground’,” says Allegra. “It’s nice to get a feel for what her day is like.”

While many young children stay home with a parent or sitter until they start kindergarten at the age of 5, a growing number are entering preschool earlier. Statistics set to be released this week by the National Institute for Early Education Research at Rutgers University show that in 2005, 69 percent of 4-year-olds attended preschool, up from 59 percent in 1991; among 3-year-olds, that number has grown to 43 percent and, for 2-year-olds, to 29 percent. “I think it’s a combination of public and private demand,” says Steven Barnett, director of NIEER. Not only are more states funding public preschools for 3- and 4-year-olds, but the number of private preschools has also increased as higher-income parents look to give even the youngest kids a leg up on learning. So, what is preschool, does your child need it and, if so, how do you find a good one?

Don’t judge a program by its name. A center doesn’t need any special certification to call itself a preschool, as opposed to a day-care center. And an inexpensive full-day program in your neighborhood might offer a more stimulating environment with better-trained teachers than a pricey half-day one. Just make sure it is state-licensed for health and safety.

Accreditation. The National Association for the Education of Young Children (naeyc.org) is the largest voluntary accreditation system in the country but covers only about 8 percent of schools. So, while the logo is a sign of high quality, its absence doesn’t mean the center is of poor quality.

The school tour. Watch how teachers interact with children, says Sharon Lynn Kagan, an associate dean and professor of early-childhood and family policy at Columbia University’s Teachers College. Do the children seem comfortable? Engaged? Happy? Ideally, teachers should have some formal training in early-childhood education. Teacher-to-student ratios should be at least one teacher to nine kids, ages 2.5 to 3, with no more than 18 toddlers in a group; for 4-year-olds, the group can go as high as 20, with two teachers, says NAEYC (see nieer.org for more info on what parents should ask).

When to start. Parents can find private two- and three-day-a-week programs for children as young as 2. For 2-year-olds, says Ellen Frede, a developmental psychologist and codirector of NIEER, one-day-a-week music or art classes is another good option. Three-year-olds would benefit from a good part-time program, and 4-year-olds are ready to attend school five days a week for at least a half-day.

What they should learn. “At this age, it’s not about drilling or spouting facts,” says Frede. Two-year-olds should be learning how to engage with their teachers and peers and how to be part of a group, says Nancy Schulman, coauthor of “Practical Wisdom for Parents” ($24.95) and director of New York City’s 92nd Street Y Nursery School. As kids grow, programs become more structured and include more group time, like story readings. Teachers should encourage role-playing games, from simply pretending to have a phone conversation to playing “house.” That helps children learn narrative, which, in turn, builds preliteracy skills.

But a preschool’s most basic attribute lies in helping its kids feel safe and cared-for. “We have to meet those very important needs first,” says Lauren Hentschel, owner of Needham’s Chestnut Children’s Center. “Then, after that, all sorts of wonderful things can happen.”

Cool It With The Lights

Newsweek — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:39:09 GMT

Nov. 5, 2007 issue
By Karen Springen

Deck the Halls with LEDs: Your Christmas decorations can burn just as brightly with less electricity

This year, Americans will send nearly 2 billion holiday cards, use more than 38,000 miles of ribbon and leave millions of Christmas trees on the curb. Does that mean you should feel guilty for having a great time? Nah. Neither does it mean forgoing any of the elements that make the holiday season special. “You don’t have to sacrifice the celebration for sustainability,” says Zem Joaquin, founder of ecofabulous.com and eco-editor of House & Garden. Her advice: be “eco-wise.” Here are a few secrets for an environmentally friendly—but still festive— holiday season.

Lights. Buy strings of LED lights, which look the same as conventional incandescent bulbs but last longer and use 80 to 90 percent less energy. LED lights, like the 300-light garland for $8.99 at homedepot.com, are also safer since they barely warm up. And invest in timers that automatically shut off your lights and cost as little as $9.99.

Shopping. Instead of coming home with 15 shopping bags, bring your own to the store. Afraid of being stopped for shoplifting? Danny Seo, author of “Simply Green Giving,” fastens receipts to the outside of his bag with a binder clip.

Wrapping. Instead of buying your paper, get creative with what you have around the house. Wrap presents in posters, decorated grocery-store bags or pages from glossy fashion magazines. Or put a small present in a beautiful scarf and “make the wrapping part of the gift,” says Jennifer Hattam, lifestyle editor for Sierra magazine. If you love traditional wrapping paper, buy the recycled versions from sites like fishlipspaperdesigns.com and paporganics .com ($4.99 for two 24- by 36-inch sheets). The latter site also sells biodegradable ribbon made from cotton and soy-based inks.

Trees. “Always go real,” says Seo. “A fake tree is petroleum based. It’s not biodegradable.” One answer is to buy or rent a live tree (see livingchristmastrees.org for more information). Or get a cut tree and, after the holidays, take it to the county recycling facility, where it can be turned into mulch.

Cards. This year consider going paper-free. Direct friends to your family blog or create a free multiphoto card or an online slideshow on photobucket.com. You can add holiday music, snowflakes and bits of text, and then e-mail friends and family a link.

Parties. Use metal flatware and real glasses and dishes —especially if you own an Energy Star-certified dishwasher, says Jenny Powers of the Natural Resources Defense Council. If you’re using disposable plates, pick recyclable paper, not plastic or Styrofoam. Use cloth tablecloths instead of throwaways. Then wash them in cold water to save energy. See all-laundry .com/environment.asp for more tips. And if you need a new party outfit, check out treehugger.com for suggestions on how to “green” your wardrobe. Then kick back and toast the holidays with a glass of (organic) champagne.

When You Finally Go It Alone

Newsweek — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:54:23 GMT

Ilustration by Mark Matcho for Newsweek

Oct. 29, 2007 issue

Tanya Hahnel, 24, earns more than $25,000 a year helping Boston-area families find affordable housing. She has health insurance, good benefits, no credit-card debt and a frugal lifestyle. Still, Hahnel bartends at night so she can afford to fly home to the Washington, D.C., area for Christmas. Her friends, many of whom are working hourly jobs without health benefits, are faring worse. “If you’re making $7 an hour plus tips, and you don’t have insurance and something bad happens, your credit is just ruined,” she says. “Everybody I know is really struggling.”

You don’t have to be irresponsible or bad with plastic to get slammed when you’re young, out on your own for the first time. Here’s why it’s tough: starter jobs come with low salaries and, increasingly, without health insurance. Rents are high, and there’s a litany of hidden expenses in the life of a twentysomething: deadbeat roommates who “share” utilities but never actually write their checks; friends’ weddings that require costly dresses and travel; security deposits and agent fees every time you move; medical care that’s not covered by insurance; needing everything (furniture, work clothes, wheels, kitchen gear) at the same time, and, yes, college loans.

But there’s hope. Every generation faces hard times when it starts out; there are some new financial tools that can help you climb into the black without an allowance from Mom and Dad. Here’s how to get started when you’re getting started.

Priority one: health insurance. One snowboarding accident can put you in a hole you’ll never get out of, and we’re not talking about that dip between moguls. Shop at ehealthinsurance.com for an affordable policy, and consider an HMO that will cost a bit more upfront but pay all your healthy-visit expenses. If your parents want to help you, this is a good place to let them. You’ll all sleep better.

Get creditworthy. You pay more for everything—from apartment security deposits to car loans to bank overdraft fees—if you don’t have a good credit history, so learn to use plastic. Get two credit cards, suggests Gerri Detweiler of credit.com, but be disciplined about using them. One card should be the best rewards card you can get; use it for regular expenses and pay it off monthly. The other card, a low-rate card, should be kept for emergencies like medical care and car repair. Stick with MasterCard, Discovery or Visa and skip all those “10 percent off today” store cards. If you really lack discipline, just keep one card, ask the issuer to hold your credit limit to $500 and freeze it in a can of water so you’ll thaw it out only for real emergencies.

And don’t be in a hurry to pay off your student loans: they probably have lower rates than everything else out there. Make minimum payments there and put your money to better use elsewhere, such as high-interest credit-card debt.

Budget online. New socialnetworking financial Web sites like mint.com, geezeo.com and wesabe.com are made for twentysomethings, says Todd Romer of youngmoney.com, an advice Web site. You can keep all your finances in one place, check your balances from your cell phone or office and see how much you’re spending compared with everyone else. As for keeping up with those deadbeat roommates and friends who always forget their wallets: track group expenses at buxfer.com and billmonk.com.

Invest. Contribute to your company’s 401(k) at least until you get to the maximum your employer will match. Open a Roth IRA: it’s one of the best possible savings vehicles for a young person in a low tax bracket, and you can still get at the money if you really need it. Find a list of mutual funds that will start you with as little as $50 monthly, drawn from your checking account, at the Mutual Fund Education Alliance (mfea.com). Go a step further and form an investment club with your friends by following directions from the National Association of Investors Corp. (better-investing.org). You’ll learn how to research and buy stocks as a group and how to start your own portfolio.

Live small. Refuse to be seduced by Starbucks and brew your own. Brown-bag breakfast and lunch. Share potluck dinners, cable upgrades and cases of beer with your friends. Drive a hooptie. Wax and polish yourself, and check out beauty schools for cheap deals. Exercise outside in the fresh air and skip the expensive gym. Don’t go into clothing stores, except to buy that one good suit you need for job interviews. Furnish creatively with your parents’ castoffs. And don’t worry—young and poor is a time-honored stage of life. Someday you’ll remember it fondly.

Take A Literary Field Trip

Newsweek — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:07:00 GMT

Silvia Otte
Book It: A sunflower field in Gascony, the setting for the Hours’ literary tour ‘Madame Bovary’s France’...

By Anna Kuchment
Oct. 22, 2007 issue

Last summer Bill Busse, a retired architect from Palo Alto, Calif., took a trip down the Mississippi River and through the pages of his favorite childhood stories. In the Mark Twain Mississippi River Tour (from $5,495; literarytraveler.com), Busse, his wife, Barbara, and a dozen other travelers stayed aboard a 1920s paddlewheel steamboat, heard lectures about Mark Twain and his work and visited Twain’s hometown of Hannibal, Mo. The highlight: walking through the cave where Twain set some of Tom Sawyer’s and Becky Thatcher’s exploits in “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.” “I’m not sure that people realize this was a real place,” says Busse. “It just grabbed me.”

Though trips like Mark Twain’s Mississippi appeal to all age groups, their popularity has grown as baby boomers approach their empty-nest years. “Baby boomers are a very well-read group and they travel quite a bit,” says Cathy Keefe, spokeswoman for the Travel Industry Association. A 2006 TIA survey showed that 56 percent of adults were interested in enrichment, or educational, trips. “As kids, we ask, ‘Why, why, why?’ but then we get busy with our lives and put those questions away,” says Ann Kirkland, founder of Classical Pursuits (classical pursuits.com) in Toronto. “But there comes a time when we have a little more space for reflection and we go back to those questions.”

Literary tours range from laid-back sightseeing excursions to more intellectually rigorous experiences that involve reading lists and seminars. On the more laid-back end is British Tours Ltd.’s private one-day Jane Austen trip from London ($970 for four people; british tours.com). Travelers visit her home at Chawton, where she wrote “Emma” and “Mansfield Park”; Bath, which figured prominently in many of her works, and the cathedral city of Winchester, where she is buried. On the more rigorous end is The Hours, a New York City-based company that mixes sumptuous tours of Tuscany and southern France with book discussions lead by a literature professor. Henry James’s Tuscany ($1,160 per person for six nights; thehours nyc.com) is set on an estate in the hamlet of Monterongriffoli, Italy, and includes cooking classes and truffle hunts. Madame Bovary’s France, planned for next fall, will be set in Gascony and will include visits to cheese and olive farms.

More independent-minded travelers can plan their own itineraries at literarytraveler .com, which publishes articles about writers and the places that inspire them. Later this month, the site will debut a searchable index of popular literary destinations in the United States. Many companies, including Literary Traveler and British Tours Ltd., will also lead private excursions for individuals and book groups.

The purpose of the trips is to help bring readers’ favorite books to life. Marjorie Noonan, 58, just returned from Classical Pursuits’ Mystery and Manners in Savannah: Selected Works of Flannery O’Connor ($1,960 for four nights). Her favorite moment: visiting O’Connor’s church and hearing firsthand memories of the author from her (former) fellow parishioners. It doesn’t get more lifelike than that.