TipSheet : Lifestyle

A Toast To the Slump

Newsweek — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 14:07:54 GMT

By Tara Weingarten
December 22, 2008 issue

Cheer up. There’s still one bright spot in the economy: sales of value wines (under $9) are up 5.3 percent in the last three months, reports A.C. Nielsen. That’s because, even in this grim economy, we need to maintain some semblance of holiday cheer. Even better news: sales of premium wines are down 10 percent, and deals abound. You may be able to treat your guests to the good stuff, after all.

If you’re one of the few who still have some extra bucks tucked away, try the Super Tuscan Ornellaia and Sassicaia, two of Italy’s most expensive wines. Wally’s premium wine store in Los Angeles (wallywine.com) is discounting them 20 percent. Sassicaia usually sells for $270 at Wally’s; now it’s $216.

If you’re still reluctant to drop the big money, there are plenty of bargains out there in the midrange prices. At Hartwickandgrove.com, a delicious 2005 Ravenswood Merlot Sangiacomo, which normally retails for $30, is on sale for $21. And the boutique producer Martini is selling its Sonoma Cabernet Sauvignon for $11.99 instead of the usual $19.99 at PlumpJackwines.com. If you don’t see a price you like, try bargaining. In this retail climate, you may just get what you want.

Religious Origins of the Detox Diet

Newsweek — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:16:35 GMT

Tricks of the Trade: Beyonce (left) and Gwyneth Paltrow have undergone the detox. Photos: Getty Images

By Karen Springen and Anna Kuchment

Saint Augustine once said that “fasting cleanses the soul [and] raises the mind.” Were he alive today, he might be surprised to see the fast detached from its spiritual roots and transformed into little more than a quick ticket to weight loss. Taken up by the likes of Beyoncé Knowles and Madonna and splashed across the pages of gossip magazines and Web sites, these “detox diets” or “cleanses” are everywhere. Publishers are churning out books like “The Fast Track Detox Diet,” “The Raw Food Detox Diet,” “Super Cleanse: Detox Your Body for Long-Lasting Health and Beauty” and “21 Pounds in 21 Days: The Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox.” And as many as 3 million Americans flock to the nation’s 5,000 colonic hydrotherapy centers for enemas, a component of many detoxes, according to the International Association for Colon Hydrotherapy. Proponents say detox diets rid the body of impurities and boost energy.

Some regimens are more extreme than others. To prepare for her role in “Dreamgirls,” Beyoncé lost 20 pounds in two weeks by drinking purified water mixed with lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper (a.k.a. “The Master Cleanse”). More moderate approaches allow clients some food they can chew. Last spring, Oprah completed a 21-day cleanse in which she gave up meat, fish, eggs, sugar, gluten, alcohol and cheese. What was left? A lot, she says, including strawberry-rhubarb wheat-free crepes for breakfast.

The concept behind these cleanses is as old as human history. “There’s a straight line from detox diets to classical religious fasting,” says Harvey Cox, professor of divinity at Harvard University. In many religions, fasting is associated with enlightenment and atonement and understanding the suffering of the poor. “It’s a way of resetting one’s moral clock, of starting with a clean slate,” says Michael McCullough, a psychology professor at the University of Miami. Christians fast during Lent, Muslims fast during Ramadan and Jews fast on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement that follows the New Year. “Fasting builds self-control,” says McCullough. “It allows people to build strength for when they have to adhere to some other moral dimension of their religion.”

The Truth About Eating

Karen Springen — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:14:57 GMT

It’s the season to avoid temptation: the kids’ leftover Halloween candy, the pumpkin pies, the holiday cookies. To help you keep off extra pounds during the holidays, TIP SHEET debunks common nutrition myths:

1. Eating before bedtime is fattening. “It’s not the hour of day that is a problem. It’s the excess calories,” says registered dietitian Lona Sandon, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. People burn calories even when they’re sleeping, but staying up late, mindlessly munching, will add pounds.

2. Fresh fruits and veggies are healthier than frozen or canned. Frozen and canned produce is harvested at peak ripeness and may even be of higher quality than fresh. Frozen and canned versions are also often cheaper and won’t spoil quickly. But read the labels to make sure there is no added salt or sugar.

3. Nuts are bad for you. Wrong. Eating nuts is associated with a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, says Elisabetta Politi, nutrition director of the Duke Diet & Fitness Center. They’re very low in carbohydrates, so they won’t cause fluctuations in blood sugar. And they’re high in heart-healthy monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. Choose ones with no added salt.

4. Eating sugar causes diabetes. “Sugar is not the cause of diabetes,” says Sandon. Diabetes is caused by excess body fat, which can interfere with the body’s ability to process carbohydrates or sugar from food.

5. Americans need to eat more protein. In fact, Americans consume about twice the protein they need, says Politi. People need 1 gram of protein per kilogram of body weight, which means most women need about 60 grams of protein per day and most men need about 80. It doesn’t come just from meat and dairy. “All the food groups except fruit and fats include protein,” says Politi.

6. Pregnant and nursing women should avoid fish. Actually, omega-3 helps with brain development. Avoid fish that tends to be high in mercury, like swordfish, shark, king mackerel and tilefish. For more information see eatright.org.

Do Cosmetic Braces Work For Teens?

Newsweek — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 16:12:11 GMT

By Caitlin McDevitt

More parents are buying into the notion that even adolescents shouldn’t be stuck in unsightly orthodontia. But are the prettier (and pricier) alternatives to braces better? Most orthodontists say no. This summer, Align Technology—the company that lured adults back to the dentist with clear retainers in 1999—launched Invisalign Teen. Though kids might be thrilled to avoid a mouthful of metal, Manhattan orthodontist Jan Linhart warns that the removable devices ($4,500 to $7,800) are a big responsibility. “You have to wear them in order for them to work,” he says. According to patient Jenny Cook, 17, of Los Angeles, “It’s really easy to get lazy putting it back in.” Neal Kravitz, an orthodontist in Chantilly, Va., says that most adolescent cases are too severe for Invisalign anyway. (The company says its retainers fix crowding, spacing issues and overbites.)

That doesn’t mean all kids with crooked teeth have to be Ugly Bettys. They can get iBraces—customized brackets attached to the back of the teeth. “I have a lot of patients driving from afar for them,” says Beverly Hills orthodontist Atoosa Nikaeen. Offered by only 18 percent of orthodontists, iBraces move teeth like regular braces but are harder to put on and can cost twice as much ($8,000 to $14,000). Some parents will pay to spare their children the teasing, but it might be better to just stick with what the parents wore in their schooldays. Even orthodontists who specialize in cosmetic options say that conventional braces ($3,000 to $7,000) are still the best. “They’re the most efficient and the easiest,” says Linhart. Luckily, there is another option for the tinsel-toothed: for only a few bucks, they can have their braces PhotoShopped out of the yearbook.

Best Organics for the Buck

Newsweek — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:33:11 GMT

By Karen Springen

October 13, 2008

Fewer Americans are buying organic. The number of people who regularly consume organic food and drinks dropped from 25 percent to 22 percent in the last year, according to a new report from consultant NPD Group. With the economy in the dumps, who can blame them? If you’re concerned about pesticides and added growth hormones but want to save money on groceries, knowing which conventionally grown items are highest in contaminants will help you prioritize.

• Milk. If you or your kids are big milk drinkers, it pays to buy organic. “There are so many hormones and antibiotics [in many brands of conventional milk],” says environmental activist Deirdre Imus, author of the “Green This!” series. Some studies have found organic milk to have higher levels of healthy fats and antioxidants, such as beta carotene.

If you don’t want to pay organic prices, get skim milk, since many pollutants concentrate in fat, says Richard Wiles, executive director of the Environmental Working Group.

• Beef. The government allows cattle—but not pigs and chickens—to be raised with added hormones. If you’re worried about these hormones, buy organic beef, which must be fed 100 percent organic feed and is hormone-free. Save money by sticking with conventional pork, chicken and eggs. For those who stick with conventional beef, the leaner the cut, the fewer the contaminants.

• Produce. The Organic Center (organic-center.org) and the Environmental Working Group (ewg.org) have analyzed U.S. Department of Agriculture tests of conventionally grown produce. The fruits with some of the highest pesticide levels are cranberries, nectarines, peaches, strawberries, pears and apples; veggies with the highest levels are sweet bell peppers, celery, cucumbers, tomatoes, peas and lettuce. Some of the least contaminated fruits are those with removable peels, like bananas, citrus fruits, pineapple, mango and avocado.

Washing and peeling removes some—but not all—pesticides, which can grow into the flesh of your food, says Dr. Alan Greene, author of “Raising Baby Green.” (Be wary of becoming a peeling zealot, though, since it makes foods less nutritious). Follow the USDA guidelines: wash your own hands to avoid contaminating food, rub the produce for 30 seconds under running water and use a clean towel to wipe off the produce. Then take a bite—or chop, cook and enjoy.

Checklist: Our Top Picks for the Week

Newsweek — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:26:28 GMT

October 13, 2008

See “Dialogue Among Giants: Carleton Watkins and the Rise of Photography in California.” This exhibition of approximately 150 works by Watkins (who became the official photographer of the California State Geological Survey) captures the social, political, economic and artistic developments in California as it reached statehood in 1850 through the mid-1880s (through March 1, 2009; getty.edu).

Rent “Le Doulos.” Is JeanPaul Belmondo a crook or a police informant? In Jean-Pierre Melville’s tough, tricky, fatalistic 1964 film noir classic, nothing is as it appears to be, and the twists come as fast as a speeding Citroën on a rainy Paris street.

Hear “Only by the Night” by Kings of Leon. These Southerners have executed a fourth album that stays true to their hard-rock edge yet interjects raspy wails and guitar riffs with sweeping mellow tracks you’ll be singing in your head. Try: “Closer.”

Shop Target starting Sunday for the debut of its line of Anya Hindmarch handbags ($19.99 to $49.99) and Sigerson Morrison shoes ($29.99 to $39.99).

Get away for Columbus Day. Check smartertravel.com for a review of last-minute deals, including early-season ski trips, Oktoberfests and spas.

Fashion: When Your Kids Want to Dress Like TV Stars

Karen Springen — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:58:58 GMT

Nice Threads: 'Gossip Girl''s Ed Westwick (left) and Taylor Momsen
James Devaney / Getty Images (left); Soul Brother-Film Magic-Getty Images

Fashion consciousness isn’t new to the schoolyard set. But with more and more TV shows about wealthy teens, like the CW network’s “Gossip Girl” and MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16” on the airwaves, parents may find themselves bombarded with an unprecedented number of requests for $140 Coach bags and $60 Abercrombie jeans. Here’s how to balance the desire to make your kids happy with the need to avoid bankruptcy.

• Ask why kids want designer duds. Usually, the motivation is to fit in or acquire social status. Christine Feiler, whose kids are 6, 9, 12 and 14, says she regularly hears: “Everyone else has it!” One strategy is to talk about alternative ways of accomplishing that same goal, says Dee Shepherd-Look, a clinical psychologist who specializes in children and families. Parents can encourage their kids to more actively call friends and organize gatherings. “Studies on adolescent popularity show that popular kids are the ones who reach out, make things happen, who tend to be complimentary to other kids,” says Shepherd-Look.

• Lay out the financial picture. If a kid begs for pricey apparel, “the parents can smile and say, ‘That would be grand, but we can’t afford it’,” says child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger, author of “Raising Kids With Character.” Then kids will understand a “no” is “not that the parents are just being mean,” says Brad Sagarin, an associate professor of psychology at Northern Illinois University. Don’t dwell on the electric bill and the mortgage with younger kids. Instead, ask if they would give up a birthday party to buy an Abercrombie shirt.

• Set a budget. Estimate how much you spend a year on your kids’ clothes and then divide it by four (for each season) or 12 (for each month). Younger kids can be in charge of just part of the budget, and older kids can try the whole thing, says Atlanta pediatrician Jennifer Shu, editor of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ “Baby & Child Health.” Richard Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, gave his daughters a clothes budget when they were 10 and 8. The strategy allows kids to complain about Abercrombie’s prices instead of about “how cheap you are,” he says. For splurges, consider chipping in part of the amount and asking your kids to earn the rest.

• Beware the faux Ugg boot. Steer your kids toward affordable stores like Old Navy and H&M, but don’t force them to buy knockoffs. These days, even preschoolers can spot a pair of fake Ugg boots (nicknamed “Fuggs”) and may taunt classmates about them.

• Avoid dissing your kids’ taste. When they want as for expensive brand names, don’t say, “That’s silly,” says psychologist Lisa Medoff, author of “SOS: Stressed Out Students’ Guide to Handling Peer Pressure.” “It is a big deal to them. Don’t write it off.” Instead, say, “It’s really disappointing because it’s so expensive. It’s not in our budget.”

• Talk about TV shows and stars. Discuss how programs like “Gossip Girl,” are not meant to depict real life. “Often kids are watching it, but nobody talks to them about it,” says Northbrook, Ill., psychologist Margot Touris. Also, explain that the celebs they might see in magazines are often given clothes for free as advertising.

• Try DIY (with caution). “You want to fit in, but you want to stand out at the same time, without looking like a freak,” says Ellen Warwick, author of “Everywear” and “In-jean-uity,” which promote creative ways for kids to decorate their clothes for under $10. Among her suggestions: buy jeans at Target and add embellishments to the bottom. “The coolest kids in school are always the ones who aren’t concerned with what everyone else thinks,” says Warwick.

Finally, remember that your kids want your love more than they want fancy clothes. Stanley Goldstein, a psychologist and author of “Troubled Children/Troubled Parents,” says, “Despite what they say, the most important thing in their life is their parents.”

Fitness: Working Out in Your Own Home Gym

Karen Springen — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 16:14:49 GMT

Fit Club: You can make a low-tech gym for less money with equipment like resistance bands
Illustration: Michael Klein for Newsweek

Barbara Bushman rolls out of bed as early as 4 a.m. to head to her gym—even though it’s just downstairs. “I don’t really care what I wear or what I look like,” she says about working out at home. “It’s the dogs and me.” She owns free weights, a Universal machine, resistance bands and a treadmill. But that’s not all: Bushman also exercises at the fitness center at Missouri State University, where she is a professor in the department of health and physical education. “I like to mix and match,” she says.

Most of us struggle to find time for just one gym, let alone two. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that Americans get at least 30 minutes of moderate aerobic activity (like walking) or at least 20 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity (like running) three days a week, plus some strength training (like push-ups or lifting weights). But most of us fall far short of that goal. As cooler weather approaches, forcing many to bring their workouts indoors, TIP SHEET provides a guide to what to consider before choosing to work out at home or join a gym—or both.

• Cost: Last year the average annual dues for U.S. health clubs were $402—or $33.46 per month, according to the International Health, Racquet and Sportclub Association. That price can be a bargain if you go frequently—or a rip-off if you don’t. Novice health-club users should pick one that doesn’t require a long-term contract.

If you want a home gym, you can spend as much or as little as you’d like. Good cardio machines—bikes, treadmills, ellipticals—may cost $500 to $3,000, depending on the brand and the bells and whistles. But you can make a low-tech gym for less with equipment like rubber resistance bands, just $19.49 at target .com. “You don’t need a fancy machine,” says athletic trainer Gene Schafer, owner of ARC Athletics in New York City. “All you need is something that you will use.”

• Goals: Know your objectives—and create a structured program, on your own or with a trainer. “Lots of times home gyms fail because the consumer has no plan beyond buying the equipment,” says exercise physiologist Michele Olson, a professor at Auburn University in Montgomery, Ala., and a fellow of the American College of Sports Medicine. “You could hire a trainer, maybe just for one or two sessions, to help you create a map of where to go.” Trainers can cost $50 to $100 an hour (or $150 if they visit your home), but even a few sessions can be worth it for a personalized workout plan. See acsm.org and nata.org to find certified professionals.

• Personality: What will get you moving? “The biggest obstacle that we all face is motivation,” says Walter Thompson, a Georgia State University regent’s professor in the Department of Kinesiology and Health and a fellow of the American College of Sports Medicine. Do you like to do the same workout every day (home gym), or do you like a variety of equipment and workouts (health club)? The best home-gym candidate: “Somebody who has self-discipline, the more serious type of individual who is self motivated, who is good at pushing themselves,” says Olson.

Those who settle on a home gym should start by finding the perfect location. “You’ve got to set it up in an environment that’s pleasing to you, and not the laundry room,” says Gerald Endress, fitness director of the Duke Diet & Fitness Center. “Try to set it up in a place you almost have to stumble over.” Remember: out of sight, out of mind. (But parents of young kids should install a locking gate to keep small hands and feet away from potentially hazardous equipment.) Test each piece of equipment before you buy it. Shop at specialty equipment stores, which typically offer high-grade machines. Quality brands include Precor (precor.com) and True (truefitness.com). Endress likes elliptical machines more than treadmills because, he says, they’re easier on your joints. But Olson says most people feel more comfortable on a treadmill since “everyone knows how to walk.” Invest in a couple of sets of dumbbells—a pair of five-pound weights and a pair of 10-pound ones for women and a pair of 12-pound weights and a pair of 20-pound ones for men, advises Olson. (Be careful with free-weight bars at home because you may not have anyone spotting you.) She also recommends that a home gym contain a few good DVDs for Pilates and abdominal exercises. And everyone can do push-ups, squats, lunges and sit-ups without buying any equipment. But before making an investment, measure the height and width of your room to make sure everything will fit, or get a professional to help you figure out your space. For more information on home treadmills, elliptical trainers, medicine balls, rowing machines, heart-rate monitors and weights, see acsm.org.

Outdoors: Kayaking In Slow Motion

Newsweek — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 16:12:41 GMT

By Paul Tolme

Calm-water kayak tours are like a nature hike on water, offering the chance to see wildlife and view landscapes unreachable on foot. Void of running rapids or raging surf, calm-water tours are ideal for first-timers. Here are a few locations where beginners can get their paddles wet.

Escape the crowded roads of Yellowstone National Park while gliding across Yellowstone Lake, whose 136 miles of shoreline make up the nation’s largest body of fresh water above 7,000 feet. The park’s animals and geology are on full display here. Bald eagles and osprey hunt for fish, playful otters poke their heads above the surface and grizzlies lumber along the shoreline ($175 for a day tour, $400 for an overnight with a gourmet campfire meal; snakeriverkayak.com).

Lake Tahoe’s legendary clarity and aqua-blue color allow visitors to see down 70 feet and draw comparisons with the Caribbean—that is, until you touch the brisk mountain water that flows down from California’s Sierra Nevada and Nevada’s Carson ranges. Navigate around giant rounded boulders deposited by glaciers and land on a secluded beach for lunch ($85 for a five-hour trip; tahoeadventurecompany.com).

Listen for the haunting calls of loons on New Hampshire’s Squam Lake and look for the black-and-white birds as they perch on rocks and spread their wings to dry off before flying. Best-known as the location for the movie “On Golden Pond,” the lake is a great spot to paddle and people-watch. Learn local lore during a half-day paddle with White Mountain Exploration or set off at dusk and enjoy the sunset over mountain peaks during a full-moon tour ($75; whitemountain exploration.com).

Maine’s Casco Bay is dotted with 200-plus islands that are home to historic lighthouses and migratory birds, such as eiders, guillemots and auks. Located on Peaks Island, a 15-minute ferry ride from Portland, Maine Island Kayak runs half- and full-day tours ($65, $110; maineislandkayak.com).

Vacations: Good Deals Close to Home

Newsweek — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 17:13:24 GMT

Alvis Upitis/Getty Images
Fore!: Play golf free Thursday through Sunday at any of the Hilton Garden Inn’s 260 resorts

Aug. 11, 2008 issue
Tara Weingarten

Maybe you’ve noticed that traffic in your town hasn’t thinned out this summer. If so, you’ve identified a trend. High fuel prices are keeping American families at home, clogging local streets rather than heading to the airport for that exotic faraway trip. Hoteliers eager to tap into our frugality are offering enticing deals to locals that include comped room nights, heavily discounted spa treatments and gratis tickets to local attractions. Dubbing it the “staycation,” resorts are begging their neighbors to give them a try. It’s working.

Michael Gereboff, a 32-year-old health-care management executive, and his girlfriend Lori Cohen, a 31-year-old Ph.D. candidate, last week made a two-hour drive from her home in Arlington, Va., to the Hyatt Regency Chesapeake Bay (chesapeakebay.hyatt.com). The couple bought the hotel’s Chesapeake Bay Experience package (summer rates from $235), which included a $25 gas card, a s’mores kit to prepare at the resort’s outdoor fire pit, a kite to fly on the bay and two passes to nearby Blackwater National Wildlife Preserve. “We’ve gone to the hotel’s spa, we went to the nature preserve, we’ve taken a catamaran tour of the bay and we’re about to rent a speedboat. We could have had the same vacation in Mexico but it would have cost us a whole lot more,” says Gereboff.

At Miramonte Resort and Spa in Indian Wells, Calif. (miramonteresort.com), book a standard room (rates from $155) and get four free passes to Knott’s Soak City. And, kids eat free at the resort. In Austin, Texas, the Crossings destination spa (thecrossings austin.com) has cut rates 35 percent through the end of summer; packages begin at $126.75 and include unlimited fitness classes, three meals daily and use of the infinity-edge pool overlooking Lake Travis.

Southern Californians and drivers from the Phoenix area can hit the super hot Las Vegas desert this summer on one tank of gas. Wynn Las Vegas’s Midsummer Night’s Dream package (wynnlasvegas.com) is a steal at $185 per person for a three-course dinner for two at Daniel Boulud Brasserie, a bottle of Mailly Grand Cru champagne and two premium seats to Wynn’s show Le Rêve. Every Thursday throughout the summer at the Mandalay Bay (man dalaybay.com), Nevada locals get rooms for $109.99, plus 10 percent off food and beverages, two free passes to Mix lounge, two passes to the Moorea Beach Club and two free cocktails at the Eyecandy Sound Lounge.

East Coasters have it made, too. Guests at the newly opened Regent Bal Harbour resort outside Miami (regent hotels.com) get half-price spa treatments, cooking classes and poolside cocktail tastings. The resort’s Cordon Bleu operated restaurant One Bleu serves three-course French dinners for $25 to $35 and all rooms are half price through the end of summer, from $295 per room.

Forget gas. How about a free round of golf? Stay Thursday through Sunday in one of the Hilton Garden Inn’s 260 resorts and play golf free at one of 400 courses nationwide (hiltongardeninn.com). This midpriced hotel chain has kitchen facilities in every room and a swimming pool at every property. Rates vary by property. Now put on that Hawaiian shirt, pack the sunscreen and hit the highway.

Checklist: Our Top Picks for the Week

Newsweek — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 17:09:22 GMT

Aug. 11, 2008 issue

Go to the New World Flamenco Festival in Irvine, Calif. Featuring performances by Spanish dancers María José Franco and Juan Ogalla, the event also has film showings, courses and an exhibit by flamenco photographer Daniel Muñoz (Aug. 8–17; thebarclay.org/festivals).

Hear “The Airborne Toxic Event.” This self-titled debut album from the L.A.-based band will rock you with energetic guitars, haunting violins and melodic hooks at every turn. Song you’ll want stuck in your head: “Sometime Around Midnight” ($12.98).

Visit Rome. American Airlines is offering round-trip fares from $750 for travel in September, October and early November (book by Aug. 7). Log on to smartertravel.com or aa.com for details.

See “Hail to the Chief: Images of the American Presidency” at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. Timed to coincide with the Republican National Convention, the exhibition includes presidential portraits, photos, handwritten letters and campaign materials (through Sept. 21; artsmia.org).

Subscribe to mPassport, a service for travelers that allows you to access a database of English-speaking doctors on your cell phone from anywhere in the world. The list covers more than 4,200 doctors in 180 countries. For details visit mpassport.com.

How to Plan Financially for a Divorce

Newsweek — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:23:03 GMT

Illustration:Chris Gash for Newsweek
Committing to Separation: Divorce decrees increasingly include ‘disaster scenarios'

By Linda Stern
Aug. 4, 2008 issue

It’s been more than a year since Janette Chamberlin and her husband decided to divorce. To save money on lawyers, they’ve been negotiating their own settlement and are ready to draw up the papers and finalize the deal. She even has a new boyfriend. The catch? The Chamberlins still live together in their house outside Philadelphia. The couple just sold their home, and, as a result, neither has been able to afford to move out.

The economy is taking a toll on marriages, but it is tough on divorces, too. Couples can’t unload their houses for enough cash to pay off their mortgages and home-equity debts, but job losses and tougher mortgage standards make it harder to afford splitting them, too. “I’m seeing many people who lose jobs and just don’t have the money to pay their alimony and child support,” says Jill Brooke of the online community First Wives World (firstwivesworld.com). Here’s how troubled couples can extricate themselves during troubled times.

• Deal with the house. Couples can hang on to a house until the real-estate market improves, but it’s usually not a good idea, says Stacy Francis, a New York financial planner who deals with divorce issues. “You’re binding two people together financially who don’t want to be bound in any way,” and if one stops paying on the mortgage, it can cause housing and credit problems for the other. It’s better to transfer the house to one spouse, if that spouse can qualify for a mortgage on his or her own.

Couples who can’t afford to do that and find themselves “upside down”—owing more on the home than they can sell it for—are negotiating short sales, in which the bank agrees to cut the loan amount to the sale price the couple gets. Richard Zaretsky, a West Palm Beach, Fla., lawyer, says he is negotiating two or three short sales a week for divorcing couples.

• Plan for disasters and windfalls. Newly divorcing partners are more reluctant than ever to agree to long-term alimony arrangements, because they are afraid their jobs won’t last as long as the divorce deal, says Francis. Many are asking that their divorce decrees include “disaster scenarios”—automatic adjustments to their payment schedules if they lose their jobs. But job loss adjustments should be temporary, and spouses who agree to big alimony deals and then opt for income-slashing career changes shouldn’t be let off the hook so easily, she says.

• Mediate for the long haul. Only one in 10 divorces actually end up in court, with more splitting couples negotiating their own financial arrangements. That’s good, as long as you don’t expect one settlement to handle everything forever. Call in a financial pro to make sure the technical details are covered (find experts at divorceandfinance.org), and expect to return to mediation as your separate lives unfold. “The divorce is not just one moment,” says Brooke. “Life goes on and you’ll always have a relationship with this person.” Even if you eventually stop living together.

Make Your Backyard a Wildlife Habitat

Newsweek — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:21:27 GMT

By Christina Gillham
Aug. 4, 2008 issue

Years of suburban development and unsustainable gardening practices have led to vanishing wildlife populations. The National Wildlife Federation has stepped up its efforts to promote its Backyard Wildlife Habitat program, which certifies homeowners who provide friendly environments for small mammals, birds, butterflies and reptiles.

The program asks residents to raise native plants and trees, which provide animals with food and shelter, and to put out water in the form of a birdbath or small pan for birds to drink and bathe in. Homeowners should also practice sustainable gardening by reducing lawn size, removing invasive plants and keeping rain barrels to collect water that can be used in lieu of the hose. (See nwf.org/ backyard for more details.)

David Mizejewski, a naturalist at the NWF, says that the certification, which costs $15, does not have to apply to your entire property. “The idea is to create a movement to get gardeners to adopt some of these principles,” he says. And, listing your home as a certified “wildlife habitat” can’t hurt its value.

The Tip Sheet Checklist: Our Picks for this Week

Newsweek — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:18:47 GMT

Aug. 4, 2008 issue

Rent “The Band’s Visit.” An Egyptian police band en route to a concert gets stranded in a remote Israeli desert town. This droll and poignant crowd-pleaser, set several decades ago, wrings fresh and unsentimental variations on themes of cross-cultural misunderstanding and reconciliation. Its understated charm is impossible to resist.

Go to Rockland, Maine, for the Maine Lobster Festival. One of New England’s premier summer events, the event (now in its 61st year) includes a lobster-crate race, a parade, kids’ activities and—did we mention?—lots of fresh Maine lobster (July 30–Aug. 3; mainelobsterfestival.com)

Surf lotsahelpinghands.com, a free service that helps family and friends coordinate the caregiving tasks of a loved one in need. Through an easy-to-use group calendar, members can sign up for available tasks or check commitments—though the service’s e-mail reminder system will make sure you don’t forget.

Eat Bissinger’s gummy pandas. These award-winning treats come in flavors like green tea/ spiced peach, pomegranate/white tea and blueberry acai. Packed with antioxidants, these snacks are a healthy upgrade for your sweet tooth ($13.50 for a one-pound bag; bissingers.com).

Buy “The River Cottage Family Cookbook.” With more than 100 recipes and kitchen projects, this attractive book helps kids understand the importance of local, organic, seasonal and humanely raised food (Ten Speed Press. $32.50).

When Your Kids Go to Summer Camp

Newsweek — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:37:35 GMT

By Christina Gillham

Does the thought of dropping your child off at camp send you into fits of separation anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. The American Camp Association (aca camps.org) says it’s seen an increase in “kidsickness” from parents, whose intense relationship with their children makes it harder to let go. Here, some tips from Peg Smith, CEO of the ACA, on how to make your weeks alone easier:

• Choose a camp you feel comfortable with—one that meets your needs and matches your own philosophy and values. Confidence in the camp will put you more at ease.

• Know that separation is natural and necessary. Each new experience increases a child’s confidence. “Separation helps children develop independence,” says Smith. “It’s not only natural, it’s developmental.”

• Remember that you have taught your child well; the lessons that you have instilled in her don’t disappear when you are apart.

• Camp is a time for kids to take a break from their parents, too. They won’t forget you. If you don’t hear from your children, view it as a positive sign: they are simply busy and having fun.